#SurvivingGhostWanks

img_6256I’m going to be discussing someone very controversial throughout this blog and since I don’t want to be sued, for defamation of character throughout this blog we will refer to the alias as Ghost Wanks.

I didn’t know Ghost in person but I referred to him as a very good friend, not someone I just interacted with on the Twitter TL, but someone I spoke to, confided in and most importantly he was someone I trusted, you must be thinking “How can you trust someone you don’t know?” Personally, I felt good vibes towards him, he just seemed like someone who supported people endlessly, little did I know this would spin round and bite me back!

When the allegations first came out, I only saw a few tweets but I messaged him straight away, peep the message below (12th February 23:02)

img_6178img_6179Delusional I know, but I was only a few tweets in, I saw the whole Spotify thread and I called bullshit straight away, I don’t care about no verification tick, anyone can chat shit, Lord knows how wrong I was, I stayed silent on the TL for 3 days, I defended him to someone on the TL on the first day, after that I left it and scanned, I was waiting for his known friends to speak out first, I knew who he did and didn’t chat too, the wait didn’t take too long well 3 days, a lot of the tweets were entertaining then the truth started to evolve and develop, I had to kick myself and just wake up, I saw threads from his old friends surface and that’s when I figured out not every story needs two sides, it was very clear how many people he scammed, sweet talked, Ghost knows how to articulate what he says, he just makes everything he does believable, I never knew my eyes could become fumbled so quickly, people that thought they were friends with this scammer SPOKE, and that was the only evidence I needed. Two sides to every story? Fuck off. 

(17th February 13:28) I received a call from a number I didn’t recognise, missed it twice cause my phone is always on do not disturb, I called back since it was a bit weird someone having my number and I didn’t know about it, fast forward I called back and of course the scammer picked up, I heard him speak and instantly replied “what” he said he saw my message previously and it made him ‘think’ and that he was going to go live on Instagram live ( Remember this bit of information) I said you have 10 hours to go live and tell your story,  if nothing makes sense then we will no longer be friends. 

Bit contradictive Teeks, first there are not two sides, then you’re allowing him to speak…

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So 8pm like he said he’d go live, this piece of shit couldn’t even stay on script, he went live at 8:08pm, a whole 8 minutes later. Ghost tweeted “Ghostbanks, 8pm my Instagram” Everyone saw his followers rack up, 300 followers in a few minutes, fucking ridiculous, when I tell you everyone was in that live, 4.3k +, I kid you the fuck not, he explained fuck all in two hours, nothing was addressed, the number of people that joined, left due to apparent bad connection, we all knew it was his connection moving all Higga hagga, we had a few known names in there, if you were active you’d know who I’m talking about, if you weren’t shamed on you. 

I must’ve seen like 5-6 people join that live with him, whether they were involved or asking clear questions so he could answer, no one was in their, longer than five minutes, how can my guy say ‘shut up’ when people were below typing? Make it make sense.

What was addressed: 

 

 

 

What wasn’t addressed: 

Grenfell❌

MDV ( Maniere De voir) ❌

Spotify ❌

Sterling Awards❌

YouTube❌

As in he had small chat for a few, but he was stuttering everywhere, durag tied on wrong, fake MDV tracksuit on the live, mouth for some and not others, no remorse, just a guy that thinks he’s always fucking right. 

The lived ended around 10:30 (ish) from around 10:35pm (ish) onwards I joined around 5 more lives regarding the whole situation, twice throughout the live I messaged him “you’re actually taking the piss now” & “answer the questions you’re making this worst for yourself” he ignored all signs, ALL SIGNS WERE VOIDED. 

I rang him after the live on the trillionth number I had from him, I was livid, we were on the call for 30 minutes, I was angry but my voice didn’t show it, he said something along the lines off ‘See Teeks this is why I can talk to you because you’re not shouting’ lol who’s going to be shouting at minutes to midnight though?? 30 minutes of talking I cut him off, it was just a flurry of the same shit going around my head it didn’t help that he tried to call me out in that live either, it was getting me angrier, my final form of anger reached, I had to write a final message 

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The final message.

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Harsh or the honest truth? Who cares it’s sent now.

Now let’s get into some scandals…

Sauce control, someone explain to me what that platform was meant to be used for, because I was in sauce control for two days, not even that, that platform sunk quicker than the Titanic, I can’t even remember why I joined in the first place, I left because my blog was a priority and I’m not trying to build for someone else when they insinuated they had all the right resources, lol bye hun. 

‘SaUcE CoNtrOL’ what sauce was you meant to be controlling with your bought followers? 

Grenfell Tower, don’t piss me the fuck off, hopefully, everyone knows about Grenfell and what went on, the truth, the lies, if you don’t click here ‘The Grenfell Inferno‘ get familiar, Ghost Wanks supposedly wanted to put on a show and he stated that all proceedings would go to the Grenfell victims, nearly two years later WHERE IS THE MONEY THOUGH? Y’all he must’ve thought we forgot.

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Make it make sense Julian.

Ghost claimed to know all these big artists, he claimed they were all backing him with this, he definitely got gassed and went back to his sauce control team and told them all to create artwork for this event, told them all this tripe for the money to go walkabout? Right ok. 

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The artwork is crisp, but deep what’s on it, I know damn well these artists didn’t agree to this, all those sponsors EVERYONE ACTIVE? How the fuck on God’s green earth did you manage to get a sports management company to support this? Mixtape madness? Next! The only sponsor that should be on there is ‘Sauce control’ God forbid

Now we all know that money got banked or he sent it back to someone that he owed money too, it’s the only way.

Either way that money did 100% did not go to where it was meant too. 

People died, kids, adults, families, that death count they keep trying to force on the public isn’t real no fucking way did only 72 people die. this was worldwide news for fuck sake the one night I’ll never forget (14th June 2017

Out of all the scandals that reached national news with Grenfell this one topped it all!

MAN SAID ADELE & STORMZY WERE PULLING UP.

Regards to the Sauce Control team at the time, if I was you don’t feel disheartened because if a man like Ghost Wanks was telling me all these big names was going to be at a tribute concert, honest to God I would’ve jumped at the chance to be involved too, but like I said I wasn’t dropping my grind to help his.

MDV (Maniere De Voir)

Ghost Wanks has told so many separate stories about this brand, I’m surprised it didn’t come to light earlier, personally, he told me was CEO, he told others brand director/ creative director, like if you’re going to lie at least stick to one role, CEO or creative director, what do you draw or sew the garms together which one?

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All this promotion for a company you don’t own, nor have any legal ties too, the cheek.

MDV DON’T EVEN DO GIFT HAMPERS!

Who saw Reece Wabara (CEO of MDV) join the live? Cause I did, actually I’m sure everyone saw what he put too, and of course, wanks blocked him and then MDV’s account joined and told us Reece had been blocked, sticky one.

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I don’t know how you can block the real CEO and thinking everything could carry on being cool, looooool are you a cunt?

How can you block someone because they said they’ve never affiliated with you before? Out here swiping businesses and claiming as your own, you sick bastard!

I really pray to the almighty God that MDV sue, the same way Mr Wanks thinks he can finesse money, MDV will put his account into minus figures.

MDV fully stated “Please remove our content from your highlights” This guy did a photoshoot with MDV clothes, real, fake most probably fake and posted it on his highlights as if he’s photography director, even did a whole competition??? And gave away ‘eXCluSIve’ clothing? Alright, hun.

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Never been affiliated with you bro.

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This text message is so fucking fake, if you associated with Ghost you’d know damn well my guy didn’t have just one number, not one, not two but THOUSANDS! This guy had so many fucking numbers, you were never a businessman, not even a trapper and his numbers changed like every few weeks, it’s very easy to fabricate a text message.

SPOTIFY

Spotify said they don’t know you bro

Spotify Curator?? They don’t know you bro

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SPOTIFY DON’T KNOW YOU, BRO!

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Austin Darbo- Head of music culture & editorial UK @Spotify don’t know you, bro.

STERLING AWARDS 

The sterling awards in partnership with Youtube???? The first creatives award show??? Sounded believable right, black cards that can get you into any Ghost Wanks event? Seems certified, seems fuckinnn sick mate. anyways time to cut the bullshit.

Anyone got these? Everyone must have got these, the man was just sending designs everywhere.

Who got these photos as well? The house where the event was meant to be held, Wanks told me this is in London, where tho? My first guess was Hampstead Heath, it’s not Hampstead Heath, these pictures must be from right move located in Cheshire or something!

I got told so much about this event, caterers apparently costing £12k, what was they meant to be serving? Cavier and cream cheese, he was just announcing prices with all these K’s at the end, Wanks said ‘Black tie event’ Wanks said that every person invited had to have a date, and they were allowed 10 extra people as the entourage, the man said red carpet, photographers would be active, he was really selling this event, yet he said his team wasn’t up to par and wanted me to invest, straight up I said “nah man I’m good still’ me and money we don’t ramp bye man.

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  I’m pretty sure this event was meant to have a launch party 31st December 2018, where’d that go? Ha, I didn’t forget.

Isn’t Sterling Awards meant to go live in Spring 2019? Ha I didn’t forget

In our last phone call, Wanks said he’s going to bring the ‘Sterling awards’ to America, sorry but when he announced that I was screaming, bro you got called out on Instagram live by various people, your comment section was doing skdidididipapapapap, you had smoke for some and not others, you can’t answer direct questions, you can’t sing or rap, so I don’t know where you found courage to give people advice on their music abilities, you know fuck all about the music industry here so Americans definitely won’t take you seriously, America has the Grammys, what the fuck is the sterling awards going to do? 

YOUTUBE

I don’t even need to talk on this one, we know damn well he ain’t partnered with Youtube.

 

 

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Creatives…Whichever category you fall under…

Don’t let a guy with thousands of Twitter followers and only 59 followers on Spotify influence you how to share your creative journey, especially music this guy tried to hop on the same wave as some of you lot and he didn’t get far at all, working for Spotify fuck off, can’t come and embarrass a platform when your own shit ain’t doing numbers, wave-like me is either Autotuned to a T or he just woke up and started singing /rapping I don’t know what the fuck that was, I vibed to it when it came out I can’t lie but listen to it back a few times you should know what I mean. I mean all these followers, claiming you work for Spotify but your shit, you couldn’t promote your own music but you wanted to be out here creating playlists, fuck outta here man. I stopped debating with this guy on Twitter about music a long time ago, he just wouldn’t take any other opinion on board, I don’t like mixing with people too tough who think they’re always right, that’s not someone who I’d have critiquing my music freely and telling me how and where to promote my music, the numbers I was seeing for a quick promotion was crazy.

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These prices are blown out of proportion, you see how everyone says ‘This London is so small’ or ‘The UK is so small’ if the UK is so small why are you going to someone to promote for you, surely if you believe in your own material you’d go to lengths to make sure your shit is POPPIN! Some of you see ‘Spotify’ and think just because it’s a huge platform the numbers will follow, you see radio and think worldwide, youtube and start thinking visuals, first of all, do your research, who’s paying for Spotify, unless you’re a premium customer, no one uses facebook who wants that apart of a package, you can pay for your own Instagram services, Twitter is powerful on it’s own, why would you pay for that? Promotions on Twitter 100% don’t work, I see people pay for them all the time expecting results, I see one retweet on promoted tweets all the time, it’s more powerful to send a Direct Message, retweeting is more powerful, simple like, we create our own timelines, what we choose to look at, reply back too, retweet and so on, you think I’d spend £1.5k on shit I can do myself?? Paying for all of this means you want to run to the top of your game before you’ve even started, you want fast results, fast results?? You’ll trip before you get to the top and that’s because you’ve found yourself sprinting before your time.

Ghost’s marketing strategies were ridiculous all he’d do is get people on the same level as followers as him, set a certain time for everyone to drop and that’d be it, marketing done, you’d literally get your music or whatever craft you have supported by other known Twitter bait heads…£500 if I vomit.

£1500 for promotions you can do on your own.

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I’m not sorry but this shit ain’t believable, in realistic terms who is paying for an interview the public either like you or they don’t, who’s paying for a portfolio, paying for some anybody to promote on Instagram, who is promoting it, P. Diddy? Freestyle with mixtape madness? loooool comical, exclusive interviews Capital 1xtra as one??? Right, even the social marketing posts from ‘Imjustbait’ etc doesn’t make sense, why are you going through someone else to get someone else to post for you??? Logic just doesn’t seem correct.

Creatives you’re better than this! 

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Mixtape madness? They don’t fuck with you and if they did they never will again.

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GRM DAILY DON’T FUCK WITH YOU BRO!

Know who you’re fucking with, money is hard to come by, his name is literally Ghost Banks, his name finally makes sense, Ghosts then Banks your money.

I’ve had people in my DM’s, texting, calling me at ungodly hours, Godly hours asking me where he is, saying he’s putting the phone down

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What’s this bro? 

Ghost called me one day talking about a Macbook and asked me if I wanted to purchase one for him on credit and he’ll send me the money, FAM WHY ASK ME TO PURCHASE SOMETHING ON CREDIT IF YOU ALREADY HAVE THE MONEY? That’s how I knew this guy has shit credit, I said straight up no, he was sending me to Apple’s website telling me what he wanted, that’s all dandy brudda but my credit ain’t gonna lack because of you.

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Most of the message was on a phone call, that’s why I have hardly any more evidence to show, I would’ve called my phone provider to get the rest of the conversation but I don’t know which sim this was attached too and if you know me I had 6 other numbers, not to scam people though.

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Ghost was always dealing with something, I ain’t going to disregard it, he probably was, probably laundering money about, probably to scam more people, my head would be hot too if people were ringing, texting me about things that have been promised and finalised when really all your doing is pocketing the money. 

In regards to this message how else was I meant to reply, I told him a few days before my mental health wasn’t at a good level, he told me to ring him I did, and a few minutes into the conversation I said I don’t want to talk about it anymore, deep this reply, my mental health was on the fucking ground.

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Uneasy? Energy off, my energy ain’t going to be 1hunna.

Mental health is something I speak on all the time, he even spoke about it all the time, don’t offer a phone call if you’re going to make someone feel worse.

The Victims

I tried hard to get some legal advice, I was emailing companies back and forth for advice, thankfully one got back to me, the advice is free but of course, the fees for the court are not, it’s really up to you if you want to bring Mr Wanks to court or not, personally if you got scammed for 100s or even 1000s, if you have a mark on your account for him, I’d go court but fortunately in Ghost’s world he scammed me for a tenner which was meant to go towards Grenfell, but I didn’t send him anything I asked for receipts man was moving edgy.

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No word of a lie, take action or this can happen again.

Can’t afford legal fees, I get it this shit ain’t cheap

Just share the blog, the more people that know, the fewer people he’ll fuck with!

Do you know how easy it is to change your name?

Change your appearance?

But guilt can never change who you are as a person.

His name ain’t even Ghost Wanks it’s Julian, how can you get ghost from Julian, letters ain’t even close in the alphabet.

How can I get Teeks from Tyr… At least my letters are the same, I didn’t go from T to Z.

 

Ghost’s time is up whether he likes it or not, he could’ve saved a bit of his sanity in that live if he just owned up to wrongdoings, but instead, he chose to lie more, lying is a choice no one forced him to lie like that, I always got told growing up “The truth might hurt but a lie hurts more” and it’s so fucking true, even if he told the truth he’s still lost everything, but at least you wouldn’t have so much guilt weighing in on you. 

I don’t understand how someone can be in the wrong but arguing with people on Instagram live at your big age of  23/24

I really hope whoever got victimized, used, scammed/frauded can finally open their eyes and eventually get some money back, looking back at all this evidence from here and the timeline, Wanks was shit at what he did, he believed his vision so much he made us believe it too, scroll up read all this information again, it actually makes 0 sense, well it makes sense cause I’m typing it but what he said actually didn’t make sense, break it down. 

We actually got duped, he articulates whatever he says so well, I ain’t gonna lie I believed it all too down to his last days when it all came alive on Twitter, 3 days of silence just watching and waiting.

Watching & waiting helped a lot, gather evidence, suck it all in and execute it.

I wish I spotted everything earlier, I wish I believed when everyone else did, the red flags were there nice and clear but I skrrrrred them.

No regrets though or this situation would’ve never come to light🌕

We live & Learn

No regrets

Teeks X

THE CREATOR BEHIND THE CONTENT

No one knows me like myself, and I think it’s the right time to give my readers an insight into my life!

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Some of you have been here since my very first blog post Men are trash?‘    and some of you are just starting this journey with me and Y’all I have TOPICS for 2019 so just make sure you stick around.

Before I get into anything can I repeat for the 1000th time I wasn’t born in London, I was born in Aylesbury, My mother and two brothers are all from west London ACTUALLY the whole of my mums side of the family is from West London, little ole me I’m Aylesbury born I’ve just grown up in between country life and city life and my mothers side is Grenadian.

My father now, bmt I’ve heard so many stories I don’t know what to believe anymore, Born in Guyana, moved to Nottingham to live with his father and then moved to London where he has resided for pretty much all of my life, Northwest repping, but my father is a very talented man in the music industry which has had opportunities to play shows around the Caribbean with his band, and has spent months out of the U.K while working and living his best life, my fathers side is Guyanese, Bajan and Jamaican.

When people ask me where I’m from I just say London because it’s easier than saying Aylesbury when I used to say Aylesbury I had to keep explaining where it was ” 45 minutes out of London, one hour tops if you drive slow, near Bicester Village, Milton Keynes” And after saying all of that I’d just be like “Aylesbury prison” Everyone knows that prison, such a shit reputation who wouldn’t honestly?

Being in between two places all the time I became very familiar with West London and Northwest London very quickly, my mother started letting me go London by myself from the age of 13/14, before anyone thinks (iRrESponSIble MoTHer) first of all NO, no she wasn’t, I have family in London so it was me more time to visit family, I always had my phone on me at all times, nothing ever went wrong, someone would always be at the other end to collect me, I’ve been using TFL I knew my way around, I wasn’t shy if I got lost I’d ask, and then when I got to around 15 I did whatever the fuck I wanted really, visited friends, family, found myself chilling around east London more and more, I used to be everywhere.

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For my own sanity, I will not be revealing everything.

Let’s get into it…

GROWING UP:

For those of you that are my true supporters, I wrote a blog just over a year ago about ‘broken families  and it pretty much describes my life as a young human going through heartbreak at such a young age, everything in that blog is true, my heart still hurts till this day but I’m GROWN now. 

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I had a ‘Stepdad’ introduced into my life so early, did I like it? No, absolutely not, no matter what my dad has done, he’s still my dad and no one else can replace that or even create a similar bond but that’s me, everyone is different I know some kids that call their stepdads ‘dad’ makes me feel a bit queezy but really what is my own, whenever someone asks ‘Do you have a stepdad?’ I kindly reply no and will replace it as ‘That’s my mum’s husband but not my dad’ I don’t know it makes me feel really ill, but some people don’t know any better for my new friends they’d ask and I nip it in the bud real quick, but for my friends that I’ve had for years they know what it is, they can tell the placebo from the real g, I even look like my dad as much as I hate to admit it I do.

I really grew to dislike to hate my dad real quick and if you read the broken families blog, you will be able to tell why very quickly, lies, fake promises I’ve had it all I’m now 20 now (21 soon come♥) We both don’t have a solid relationship as dad and daughter. I learnt roughly around the age of 10 that it wouldn’t happen, I’ve had siblings find me through facebook and tell me we’re related instead of my own father telling me, I found out around seven years old, I had an older sister and younger brother, I’m still shaking till this day.

On my mothers side of the family, I have 2 older brothers, these are the only siblings I’ve claimed from birth till now, ones 28 and the oldest 30, I can’t lie my brothers made my childhood despite the pain with everything else a blast, we had so much fun, being the youngest sibling and a girl it had its perks♦ We literally did everything together, when my oldest brother passed his driving test, we did trips upon trips, my other brother used to take me to house parties when I was like 8, take me to his basketball games, but please we can argue and sometimes me I LOVE a good argument, me and my middle brother used to argue all the time, maybe because we were both left-handed and used to sit right next to each other for dinner or maybe both petty, my oldest would never get involved, just turn off really but when my brothers used to argue, me and my mouth we’d be their front and centre ‘SHUTUP BOTH OF YOU’ I just hated unwaranteed noise and their arguements would be pointless. However my mum, my brothers and the rest of that side of the family no matter how much we argue they’re my anchors for real, me personally I would’ve had millions of breakdowns without them but like real g’s they’ve kept me afloat.

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On my father’s side I have….wait for it…. 5 siblings, FIVE SIBLINGS, I knew about 3 of them, the other two the great creator of Facebook made a social site so it could glue people together, till this day the message I received on that site will shake my bones till death…I knew about 3 siblings but the only reason I claimed my brothers on my mum’s side so much is that they lived with me, I saw them day in day out, they were THERE, the others were there but not there, do you get it? Hopefully, Y’all do. There’s so much to this story but it wouldn’t sit easy for me being all over the internet when this isn’t anyone’s fault apart from my fathers, and my other 5 siblings I have love for them I really do, but it’s the way things came about which just startled me a lot, hopefully, one day we can have a bond. 

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Apart from all that, my growing up was good, Y’all I was a girl youngest in charge I pretty much got everything I wanted, I had the bodyguards that protected me and till this day still do, look out for me, I had my mum who’s clothes was my tissues when I wanted to cry, this isn’t a fact but might as well be I think I cried so much when I was younger I have no tears left to cry in my older age, and it’s sad because sometimes I want to bawl out in tears but all I get is one tear drop…pftt…pathetic. 

EDUCATION:

Let me tell you, I was a good as gold in school, it was when I reached secondary school and college everything and I mean EVERYTHING went downhill, like in junior school I was a boffin like I remember one day I was riding to school and I got out of my street and my tire went FLAT, fam the way I was crying in the middle of the road because I was going to be late for school loooooool, I chucked the bike back in the shed like it wasn’t brand new, how can transport that I relied on to make me late, but secondary school was my prime time, so in my secondary school in each year there were 8 form classes one was called disc and the other shit side was called over, put the words together you’ll get discover, whewww clever. 

I was in S the best form ever so obviously in year 7 it’d be 7s, year 11 it’d be 11s and just to put it out there to any of my past school aquaintances disc was the best side of the year, you ‘over’ lot kiss my teeth, you lot didn’t know about trouble if it was spelt out. Personally, I loved school, I made some good 5-year friendships, and I said what I said some of you were just five-year friendships. My first day of year 7 was just uneasy I was in ‘over’ for two seconds before I transferred to disc I figured I didn’t want to learn French, didn’t want to learn Spanish either but it is what it is, I settled with Spanish, learnt about 6 words in two years was quite proud because I’m pretty sure I saw my Spanish supply teacher more in two years than my actual teacher, the poverty. 

Anyways my first school day was uneasy, those school kids that used to scowl at me like we went to school at the zoo, long story short I got bullied for like four weeks till my brothers found out, these man said they were going to the school, I was really calculating in my mind thinking you can’t actually do that, but the big mouth I had it stayed close my mind was shouting at me like ‘LET THEM DO THE TING’ Honestly I don’t even know how it stopped, but me and those man came friends and that’s when our form turned upside down, because we were all trouble, first day of year 7 I got slapped with anger management classes, did I go though? No, no I did not, it was in my time and not theirs and that can’t run.

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Another thing that just made school uneasy was my form tutor, I had a dislike for teachers but my dislike for him, he was top of my list, you know those teachers that come to you about punctuality, this man could never in his wildest dreams come to me about lateness or anything, school is 5 days a week, how can you be late 5/5 days a week, not once but FIVE, EVERY FUCKINNNN DAY, it was very jarring on those winter mornings when all I wanted to do was put my bag down and go to assembly, do you know how awkward it’d look when other forms will come out of their classrooms going to assembly but my form were the ones still outside, and being in year 9 upwards being late for assembly would actually be a pisstake, would you get a seat in assembly or would you be stood up for twenty minutes while teachers just talk the most crap??? Some days our form tutor wouldn’t even come in, but we got ownage of the keys to our classroom, so pretty much every day we’d invite other forms in, my classroom looked like one tip after, I remember one guy jumped on the table and it snapped in half, we threw stuff up at the ceiling and the ceiling tiles would move, it’d just be bare gappy, like I mean sometimes he was their mostly he wasn’t, we’d just be dashed supply teachers, and then most of the girls in my form would be foaming at the mouths because apparently, our form teacher was ‘good looking’ I was the one who went Specsavers all the time and spent my pension in there yet I couldn’t establish what they were gawping at…

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There were so many fights at school it felt like I went to Waterloo road 

“Meet me at the bus lanes, 3pm don’t be late”

This was one iconic sentence that went around, having your school outside bus lanes was superb, the worst place to have a fight but the best thing to say.

I think in my school everyone got away with so much by the regular shmegular teachers, but the heads of years, head teachers, heads of departments were not there to play, even the supply teachers thought they had a role, nah mate..stay in your lane

  • Teachers selling cigarettes to students
  • Teachers affairs revealed
  • Teachers having relationships with students
  • A teacher had an online sex journal, got discovered by a student
  • Test tubes going up vagina’s 
  • Teachers minding their business while a students face gets rearranged and looks like they need plastic surgery after
  • Teachers paying students to leave them alone

Where was I while this was going on? Oh me, I was doing what the teachers did during fights but me I was the student they…they were the teachers, the ones that have a duty of care over us.

Sigh I got into a lot of trouble over the years, my mother probably went to two of my parent evenings, my first one in year 7 and my last one in year 11, those letters were nowhere to be found, grab it, shred it, get rid of the evidence, but my mum was used to the trouble because my brothers went to the same school and caused more ruckus than me, most I did was push people down the stairs, trip them up and act like it wasn’t me, got people smacked up, just the usual, Facebook got me into the most trouble back in the day, I saw sirens at school because of Facebook, I had an assembly about me because of Facebook and a couple ratty snitches, but me the same mouth on socials is the same in a real life, no cap.

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College was another ball game, I went to a college 1hr out of my area because I told the people in my area that five years was enough with them I don’t want to see them for another 2/3 years, I studied computer studies deep this I only had to go in for 2.5 days a week I went in for either 2 days a week or half a day, nothing more nothing less, I forgot that the tutors had my mum’s number and email address, Long story short they had my email after and number, no longer had my house number, mum’s number or email, sometimes the system wants to get rid of you before you even have a chance. I had my chance(s) but that’s not the point  (Mum if you’re reading this I’m sorry but whatever beatings you have after I’ve finished typing this, I’ll call childline) I didn’t like any of my tutors, I only liked 5 people in my class, but long story short I got a double distinction in my course and got kicked out of college on the last day, make it make sense.

CAREER(S)

Whewwww long story short I’m on my 7th job, I’ve been working since I turned 16 at one point I was working 3 jobs at once, I didn’t have a life, I’m very much money orientated everything I own I’ve bought myself, gadgets, electronics, clothes, shoes all me, I don’t rely on anyone well I try not too, independent living while still living at home, Issa thing.

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When I turned 17 I decided to work in the care industry, back then I was so dumbfounded I thought it was good money, Y’all was I wrong its shit money for an industry that works incredibly hard, I was young I wanted money but most importantly I wanted the experience, five years down the line I’m still in care and I love it, no day is the same, but every day it’s new stress. 

In care work, there are different sectors to work in, I’ve worked in Learning disability, mental health, elderly and supported living, none are the same all different.

I’m still deeping this year September will be five years, I haven’t achieved what I’ve wanted out of this industry yet, but all I’m saying is I’m very close to the goal and when I get there I will honestly cry the happiest of tears. 

It’s an incredibly hard job or even career to some people, the laws you need to know, training, some cases common sense but common sense ain’t that common anymore, you can’t just work in care, you need a heart, an understanding of what you come to work to do every day, patience, I make it look easy because to me it is, been there, done that, but you never stop training or learning, no day is the same sometimes I wish but then I’d get bored.

In the new job I’m in now I work 37.5 hours a week, well that’s my contracted hours the most I’ve worked a week is 60 hours, let me tell you I was very much dead at the end of it, I either do dead on my hours or way over, no in between. 

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I genuinely love making other people’s lives better and that’s why I do what I do, it really is the little things that make my clients happy, going out on their 1:1s, sitting down and talking with them, even the simple things in my job description, I’ve spent two Christmases at my jobs not because I don’t want to spend time with my family but not everyone has family, I know when I go home I’ll see my mum or I can ring a family member, not all my residents can do that, taking a few hours out of my day to make someone else’s holiday celebration special will always sit right with me.

If any of my readers decide they want to go into healthcare, one thing I’ll tell you now is look after your back, you might not understand this advice now but in the long run, you will. Look after your health because most employers do not care about you, they just care about you completing the task and moving onto the next one, I injured my back and was in the accident and emergency also took one week of off work because I was in excruciating pain, that was a few months ago and now again I’m back in the same position, you only get one back.

I’m leaving the care industry hopefully by next year and going into computing, been a true computer wizard since a kid, I’ve got my distinction I ain’t letting it go to waste, and there’s a lot of money to be made.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Y’all

you thought.

Just know I’m very happy over here♥

FRIENDSHIPS:

I would say my friendship groups are all mix-up, I don’t chill with just one group, not one, not two but THOUSANDS.

Not literally thousands but I know a lot of people so I ain’t stuck for choice.

Sometimes I chill with just the mandem, sometimes just the girls or even a mixture, I don’t know I find I make friends really easily, I regret some friendships and five of them ended last year some long term some short term, I ain’t saying they were the problem, it was me too (more them) I’m glad I got rid when I did, because I really tried to help one of them and I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life, but karma hit them so quickly, the other four-man I don’t know, good riddance.

I can’t even say I’m not a nasty person because when I want to be I can be bitter, but when I want to be nice I can be super nice, but you really can’t tek mi fi ediaat…Impossible.

I’ve told people things I regret, I’ve said things, seen things about me as well, must admit that was quite interesting, you know when people talk about you, and you never knew that fact about yourself, it was a madness

Telling me you don’t care but want to do tappity tap on your keyboard about me…cute, nice to know you think about me.

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Ask my friends about me, they’ll tell you I’m a top cunt, top fucker, I’ll tell you I’m coming somewhere then don’t go so unpredictable, but I give top notch advice because I don’t give a single fuck and have 0 filter (That’s what gets me in trouble), but Y’all I can be nice.

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Whoever wants to get to know me cool, make up your own assumption about me, don’t let someone else’s opinion cloud your judgement, because then I’ll call you dumb by association.

SOCIAL MEDIA/REBRANDING:

Well, well…well, the only way you could’ve got here is through one of my social media accounts or if you’re a real g, you would’ve received an email because you’re subscribed.

The only social media platform I use religiously is Twitter, then snapchat, and then Instagram, I only use facebook to see what’s happening around my area or speak to my family and see what’s going on.

I’ve had my Twitter account for 8 years, I haven’t always been called ‘Baddest Teeks’ I had names like ‘simpletylife’ or ‘teeksxi’ I recently changed it to ‘Baddest Teeks’ three years or so ago, if you knew what I tweeted back in the day all those madness all those gifs Y’all know why it was ‘baddest’ at the start ‘Teeks’ just a nickname, my name holds weight I don’t care what anyone says, I was there back in the day.

I have an online mouth and real mouth, but buck me inna real life and touch me I’ll show you what I’ll be using your taxes on. 

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I was thinking of rebranding but then I was thinking who am I doing this for, for me or Y’all, I remembered I don’t give one fuck about anyone on the internet that I don’t know, BLOCK, MUTE & UNFOLLOW BUTTON IS ACTIVE USE IT! 

TEEKS THE BLOGGER & BADDEST TEEKS IS THE SAME PERSON, NO CAP.

OVERVIEW:

This was meant to be really short yet here I am approaching nearly 4000 words, this is only a small insight into my life, but if you read this thinking it’s my whole life, you’re a dickhead for sure.

If I could start my life all over again would I? 100% I would not, I pray every night and I know God has a plan for me, I’m not in a rush to get there, God’s timing is everything and I respect it.

If my life was to start over, I probably wouldn’t be here blogging, I probably wouldn’t have met the people that I did, been in the career I’m in, be alive and breathing because who really knows, I’m forever grateful and thankful I wake up every day.

Probably started my online presence wrong, but I sweaterrrrr gawddd man I don’t care, it gets me where I want to be for now, and who knows it could get me further one day.

I’ve got so many goals that I need to reach before 2019 ends, I’m completing every single one, nothings getting left behind. 

Also, may I add WEED IS MY BEST FRIEND

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Anyways 2019 I’m really living my best fuckinnnnn life, turning 21 (March 10th), flying out to Zante for ten days in June, Getting my 4th tattoo on my back, 9 days before my 21st (Pray for me bmt) Getting my 5th tattoo under my collarbone in April (Pray again x2), going to take lots of small trips around Europe, I’m just overly excited about everything.

2019 we move.

Teeks X

UNIVERSITY: OUTSIDERS VIEW IN

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Finally I’ve decided to end the fraudulent university lifestyle that I’ve perceived for nearly a year now but I really started joining the game of it a few months ago, a lot of people I’ve spoken to ready decided within themselves that I went to university honestly I never knew where people came up with that, so random honestly, sometimes I’d get random messages of being in certain locations Leicester came up a lot along with Coventry and Bedfordshire, I’ve been to Coventry once, Leicester never been there and Bedfordshire once also Hull, it really got to a point where I thought ‘fuck it, if that’s what you want to think let me play along as well’ What’s the university I decided to perceive? Of course, it was Leicester I came up with a made up course called ‘Bodycount Management’ along with a real course called ‘Computer Science’ Let me tell you now a lot of you lot believed it, but how? I’ve never posted me going to lectures or me being in a library, it’s the tweets and snapchats that got a lot of people and for a while I’d think I’m actually a student got myself back onto UNIDAYS, but this whole time I’d be working and living in a town and city! Life has been great!

University, the good, bad and damn right stressful…but what do I know I’m just an outsider right?

*Disclaimer*

I did a poll on this blog to receive answers but silly old me didn’t screenshot in time and the replies got lost in my mentions, I tried for a good day to scroll through my mentions but they stopped at a certain point, so I’m going to do this blog in a different way!

If you don’t know me from the TL, every time I do a blog I do a poll to go with it, it’s so I can interact with people and find out their views and opinions, a lot of the views I get are extremely interesting.

I always start of my polls with the first question being ‘where is everyone from?’ And do 4 options for the vote and do ‘Quote tweet others’ so people can pinpoint exactly where they’re from.img_2159

Okay, let’s get into it then!

I stated the 4 universities in a poll, that I generally hear about most and where a lot of the people I know attend & also where most of the fuckery happens NN2 (Northampton) you’re also up there with these 4, I’ll never forget about you lot.

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The one thing I’ve noticed with a majority people living in halls, some of you live like actual tramps, and you bring that same wayward dirty behaviour to when you move into a house with your mates! Do you not have any shame? I’ve been to university accommodation *Brunel University* to be exact and the communal kitchen was filthy like it would be a rodents best friend to live in.

The mindset some of you have to live in your own dirt, yuck!

Even the cheek to invite people to your accommodation looking like a dump site

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ACS should be called ‘AS’ because really no Caribbean people are involved that much, correct me if I’m wrong but it has more Africans, even  ACS is very dumb, that one debate on the twitter TL where a white girl decided to run for ACS president, it was actually the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, how and why would you want to get involved in something that has nothing to do with your race.

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This one gets to me a lot, for someone that doesn’t go to university this is my pet hate, I know there are fire drills for testing I understand that but some of you wayward people can’t cook and are setting off the alarm for burning common toast, not being funny but how do you burn toast? How can you forget about your pizza in the oven? How can you burn rice? Oh yeah, you’re not a serious weed smoker if you don’t know how to put a sock over your smoke alarm if you can’t do it successfully go and sit next to a window and smoke or better yet, get the hell up and stand outside.img_2188

Personally, I feel 9k for a university is a bit of a stretch, I feel it should be free but with Theresa May in charge and the current state of the UK, I feel we’ll never get that. The fact your university fees cover lectures, where you are practically reading from a powerpoint which is probably 20 years old, used over and over again per year is ridiculous, paying for ‘contact hours’ where you can reach your lecturer is rather bizarre, you’re practically paying for a university library absolute nonsense, deep this you’re paying for student services, the same student services that love to sweep issues under the carpet.

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I really needed to ask this question as when I’m on Twitter mostly I always see complaints on group work, back in school I was one of the people that will let one person do the work while I sit back and relax, but in university, I’m guessing it’s highly frustrating and from the votes it proves a high majority of you don’t like it, you 2% that said yes, you must be lying, you other 30% you are definitely the ones who sit back and do nothing.

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The outcome of this vote left me so surprised, all I hear people rattle on about is Lidl or Aldi, the fact that Tesco came out on top is laughable, the same Tesco that sold horse meat that is where you want to go and fill your baskets. To be fair I shop everywhere but mostly Costco, however, I prefer Aldi & Lidl as they’re so cheap as a student I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to spend £50+ on food as things can go off very quickly as none of what we buy is even natural produce anymore. Fruit and Vegetables are twice their sizes always being injected with some sort of formula so they’re more than likely to go off twice as quick.

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The statistics to this one didn’t really surprise me, I’ve had friends where the family would have input in the course they choose, which I will never understand because at the end of the day they can put all the input they like in, but who is completing the course it will be YOU! You will be studying, dealing with the stress, graduating and of course going into the particular field, why would you let your parents choose a course for you which they will not be participating in? Sorry but I wouldn’t attend let alone apply for the university if my parents would’ve picked a course, for example, if my father picked my course I’d be doing ‘Music Management’ or anything to do with music, my mum, on the other hand, I can’t even give an example, because she certainly wouldn’t tell me, as far as I’m concerned I’d turn off, Imagine going to university between 3-6 years on a decision that isn’t yours, no thanks!

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Wasn’t surprised at this result at all, I don’t even go university but I get stressed by keeping up the persona that I attend, besides from that I couldn’t imagine what you university students must go through, the revision, assignments and most importantly the exams (If you have any) but a lot of you end up doing so well coming out with 2:1 or even better 1st’s.

“Your positive action, combined with positive thinking results in success” 

Shiv Khera

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Surprise Surprise! Honestly, there was no surprise here because the result I wanted to win did, whenever I check snap stories I always see ‘fUcK lEcTuReS’ or ‘fUcK 9ams’ Sometimes I don’t understand lectures that much, you’re literally sat down for hours looking at a powerpoint from 1956 with a tutor doing up voiceover.

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First of all, if you’re between 20/30% how are you still a student because I swear you can get kicked off your course for low attendance? Anyways what’s my own

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Whoever said ‘everyday’ someone has to be lying because I want to know what club is open every day for raves, who even has the time to do up ‘move your waistline’ every day of the week, 1/2 sounds more reasonable.

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The end is near, well from this blog, this topic was meant to be 100 times better than what I’ve just written but sometimes work with the resources and content you have, I received some interesting replies from this and if I ever find them again (Very much doubt it) I shall add them in.

For those of you who attend universityplease continue to prosper and persevere, if you’ve just started the end seems so far away yet once the first year finishes you really don’t have a lot of time left unless you plan to stay there for 4 years +, honestly the saying ‘time flies’ I never believed it till I reached 20. If you’ve made a solid friendship group they’ll always be around, but assignments and exams are vital for you to get where you want, and of course sleep and food use your student finance money wisely, I see they don’t dish out money easily in this England, I believe that everyone that goes to university can and will be successful in life if they focus on what they want!

For those of you who are planning to go university, continue to work hard, work for your grades, nothing in life comes easy and a university will only get harder but the results you’ll see at the end will amaze you, hopefully, this blog can be a small learning curve for you.

I’ve had to add my dry banter into this since I lost everything and I had no energy nor time to do another question thread part 2.

PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH

Over half a million people a year make the transition to student life, for some students, it could be exciting but others it can also be incredibly daunting, universities say they have a lot of student support in place but I think that can and should be strengthened with more mental health services and wellbeing programs installed within the university, half a million people spread out between the UK can you imagine how many people can be affected from previous issues and new ones, I don’t think enough help is given. With higher study costs and career markets getting extremely competitive there is a whole lot of pressure. An annual student report from September 2017 showed that 87% of students struggled with social or academic aspects while at university, other issues that were highlighted was isolation, balancing work, financial difficulties and living independently.

Personally, I think a lot more services should be available on campus, living on campus their should be people to call at any time of the day.

This is where I come in, I’m not student support I’m really just Teeks, but I’m available a fair amount of my day despite me working, but any problems and you feel like you want someone to talk to (text only) I’ll try my best to help (07925672594) 

*Disclaimer* This isn’t my main number, any abuse I will straight block your number

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Okay now let me wrap this up, this university experience has been immense been at work or in my house for the past year and a half, thank you to all the fakes that said they’ve seen me in Luton or Leicester I did not appreciate that at all! Bodycount management is a fantastic course, highly recommend it, it’s only available at DMU (Obviously) This university persona has been fun but I think I’m finished with it now.

Teeks X 

COLOURISM, RACISM & DISCRIMINATION

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You would’ve thought in 2018 the whole ‘Light skinned vs dark skinned’ argument would’ve calmed down not died out just calmed down a tad, but nope it continues with full force every day, Twitter is where I see everything and I’ve seen the same topic upon my TL for a solid two months, being engulfed by black twitter with the same debate/argument every day gets extremely tiring, I was doing Twitter fingers for about a month to get my point across but getting your point across on such a large scale social site is near enough impossible, my thought process is if I can’t get my opinion out why not listen to others so that’s exactly what I did I held two separate polls called ‘Colourism question thread‘ & ‘Colourism question thread part 2‘ The first one I did it didn’t do too well on votes but I realised I was very uninclusive to other races which weren’t fair I really only did questions for the black community when colourism really involves more races than the black community, kindly enough a girl named @yazzwilson kindly messaged me and we were talking on whatsapp for days about colourism and honestly she opened my mind to things I never knew about and she helped me come up with part two of the thread. Part two did so much better than part one but really I involved everyone this time and the number of votes the questions received was crazy! From part one through to part two I received over 400 replies I really tried to reply to everyone but I swear my fingers were literally about to drop off and it’s not like I reply to someone and the conversation is done I had to constantly go to and fro, listen you twitter famous people I don’t know how you do it.

Hearing different opinions and for the person to then further explain themselves is what I need, I don’t really like to take sides too often if my mindset was how it was two years ago I would’ve been having arguments for a month, but I’ve learnt to accept that everyone is different and their thought processes are also different, this world was never meant to be perfect. There were a few views I saw and I was thinking in the back of my mind ‘how the fuck can you be so backwards’ but hey their mind is certainly not mine and vice Versa.

There were a few people I really had to raise my uneven eyebrows at, I had a fair few people in my mentions stating ‘facts’ that were clearly their own opinions, I’m sorry but your opinions are not facts and if that’s what you think then I’m sorry for your mindset because that is just the worst thing ever, I really asked some people for evidence on where is this a fact and they came back with nothing.

I have many subtopics that I want to talk on and shed light on, some are good exposure and some not too good but hey this is a touchy topic and life is not a bed of roses.

But first let me talk about myself and my own personal experiences, how I got shaped for my own life.

My Personal Experiences 

While I was growing up I lived in two separate locations one of them being London and the other one in a town not too far from London probably about 45 mins away, your probably thinking how does that even work? Well both of my parents were born and bred in London, my mum moved out of London before I was born but we also had a family house that was still there, the biggest reason was London is too bloody expensive everytime you breathe money gets deducted out of your account, but we always went back forth between two locations and my dad never moved out of London so I grew up around West London & North West London I know them equally well as each other. I wasn’t born there I was born in the town unfortunately but this has shaped who I am today. 

Town life as a black girl, there is a small minority of black people here, the area I live in is profoundly white, on my street, there is just one other black family, and in my area probably about 5-10 black families, my area I mean my side of the town because believe it or not towns do have different sections. 

It’s only when I go on nights out in town which is hardly ever, is that I see more black people, but it’s only from the past few years I’ve seen more blacks since they built a university campus here.

All my friends from around here are white, in my school, I had a few black friends but switching to city life all my friends are black. Weird right?

But I have been teased a lot by black people because I have friends who are white or any other skin tone, and it’s really weird like I never grew up with that mindset, no one can ever hinder my thought process of who I choose to spend my time with, like their my friends, some of these people I’ve grown up with, but it bothered me that my own race people who shout about diversity all day every day and they spun around and laughed at me.

I have white family, mixed raced cousins, like I shall never understand the mindset that people possess of having different skin tone friends. I’ve generally posted on my snapchat of my older mixed cousins and clearly stating their my cousins and people will still come back and ask ‘who are they, are they your family‘ like I don’t know if some people are generally dumb, but its big 2018 diversity is coming into families it’s been in families for a very long time.

Interracial Relationships

“They are here to stay”

Let’s get one thing straight, interracial doesn’t mean just black and white, it can be anything, it seems to centre on just two races, please there are more races than just those two. 

It doesn’t just centre on sex, there are some people that literally get with dark-skinned men or women to get ‘mixed raced’ children, which I find sick and it has to be a mental illness for you wanting to breed someone for the outcome of mixed children. 

Are Asian girls more submissive? Are black girls freakier? Who has the bigger penis latina men or black men? All these perpetuate stereotypes and turn all of these ideas into experiments. We aren’t bloody science experiments, we are human love who you want for who they are, not for anything else.

There’s a fine line between admiration and fetishization, being seen as a fetish other than a person is disgusting like interracial doesn’t mean a better life. Admire other races as they have a lot to offer.

For the love of God just because someone dates outside of their race it doesn’t mean they hate the people, like allow people to have a preference, have your preference and keep it moving don’t have a preference then knock the people in your own race down.

I saw a horrendous tweet on just this on the 22nd February 2018, honestly, I was horrified, dishearted and angry.

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The beauty to come from interracial relationships and all relationships is that you learn you become open-minded to learn about the other person, their beliefs, mindset, goals, background and a whole different perspective for you. 

I never really deeped the fact that people have been racist let alone a colourist towards me until I did both of those threads, when the threads were done and I was scrolling back through the replies I kept on saying to myself ‘that’s happened to me before’ or ‘ I never knew that was happening on my own doorstep’ As I was growing up in school from year 7 straight through to year 11 I never even knew what I was experiencing maybe because I got into so much trouble in them years everything must’ve gone up and over my head.

I watched one movie called Holes while I was in year 9/10/11 I have no idea, I don’t even know when I finished school. 

Besides that I loved this film so much I even begged my mum to buy me the book, I got it if you’ve never seen the movie I suggest you watch it. 

There was one scene that really captured me which was about interracial relationships, in the book Holes Sam a black man falls in love with Kate a white woman, in that time it was still unheard of, long story short Sam got killed.

 

There were times in school where I would get picked on as a student by teachers and me being a bad child in school had nothing to do with it, there was one time I was in my school main playground minding my business chatting with my friends and I literally turned around to go to the canteen to grab food I was on my way there and a teacher told me to come to her so me being me I rolled my eyes and went over, she started hassling me over my skirt being to ‘short’ I can’t lie it was short but that’s how I felt comfortable and this skirt wasn’t one of those that it would look good being long, in school you follow the fashion ok, so anyways next thing you know I was being ushered off to her office and when I got there all I was hearing was “don’t you feel uncomfortable like that” but my argument back was there was plenty of other girls that had their skirts way shorter than mine to the point if they bent over you would see their vaginas I’m not kidding, I basically got sent home to change, but the point is there were white/mixed girls walking past us while I was out getting lectured about my skirt, honestly I was so mad I went home got changed stayed home for like 2 hours and came back half way into the last lesson.

There was another thing I hated about school was when people touched my hair, I HATE when my hair gets touched and white people especially would say “ew whys your hair so greasy/creamy” um maybe just maybe so it stays moisturised as a black girl having our type of hair is a pain finding a hairstyle, no one in my school had wigs it was either natural, weave or braids. After my hair kept on getting touched by disgusting bacterial invested hands I had to get braids to reduce all the consistent touching. I’m pretty sure my school went through a phase about haircuts and hairstyles like no wacky colours or haircuts, I really had to have regular shmegular black hair while white/light skinned were allowed any hair colour or haircut possible, it was literally ridiculous.

I’ll have to say personally I don’t think I went to one of those schools where there that much more whites than blacks it certainly wasn’t even, all the races that attended pretty much balanced out the equation, if it was teachers compared on skin tone there was certainly way more whites than blacks actually there was like 5 black teachers, but in opinion it didn’t bother me at all who educated me, it was just the way they’d deal with certain situations.

There were many times where I should’ve been kicked out but having the right people on your side helped me a whole lot more, I was one of those kids where if anyone did anything wrong I’d automatically reply “is it because I’m black?” That one sentence will have people flustered because there is no comeback.

But I’m grown now and still growing, and I still have a lot more to learn.

Recently (I lied) about two years ago I went to Spain on my first holiday alone no parents just three of my friends, when I tell you I’m laid back I’m so laid back, one of my friends who shan’t be named kept on noticing stuff that would fly over my head, one time we were walking to the beach and I kid you not there was a swatchsticka on the floor fully spray painted, and then on the way back it was gone, can’t lie I didn’t even see it I was too busy enjoying myself, we also took a few days to go to the town and my friend was like these people are racist I fully didn’t know what she was talking about but when we got back she was like “People were staring at us” I didn’t know how to take it I was really not bothered at all like I fully don’t know what’s wrong me like I’m the most unbothered person ever.

I would just like to say that’s the end of my personal stories but I’ll probably be doing up Esther (BkchatLDN) and relating back to any and everything while I’m talking on subtopics.

Black skin vs Light skin, the number of tweets I saw on this one topic please I can’t some of you lot are bitter.

But one thing I can’t seem to get my head around is “You’re attractive as a black girl” what does this mean I’ve heard it too many times where someone has said it to me and honestly I was spinning. I’ve been reciting the same line in my head for months and I just can’t figure it out I’ve heard that for no other race, personally I think when people say that, they must think us black girls are bottom of the barrel within the human race because if we go back to slavery days our ancestors got treated like shit on the bottom of these slave masters shoes, I will never seem to understand actually I don’t think there is a possible explanation of why there is so much hate on the black/darker skin tones, it’s really a skin tone people act like we chose, like colour selection is a thing. Every day I’m disheartened but more importantly, I end up getting desensitised because where is the end for all of this?

Stefflon Don

We all know what got the Twitter timeline going a few weeks ago and that was the tweet that got retweeted by somebody on the TL which brought a tweet back from 2013 and into 2018.

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At first, I was thinking “this bitch”, but I thought about it and compared it to one of the questions in my thread, some of you who voted probably are dark skinned so what Stefflon Don said isn’t entirely false.

“I just want to be lighter” I’m convinced at least a few dark skinned girls must’ve voted this option because what other skin tones would want to go lighter???

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This doesn’t mean I agree with what Stefflon Don did at all because it was a serious low blow she and her PR team should’ve been smarter and removed this tweet years ago but tweets can also resurface.

She didn’t handle this situation correctly at all telling people to suck their mums, what sort of role model?

But Stefflon Don, what were you doing at 21?

Hair

Our pride and joy

My hair is honestly my pride and joy I’m either natural or has braids, personally, I don’t like weave or wig at all I’ve tried them both once and honestly never again.

But for you other girls that wear weave or wig you continue to slay but also please let your natural hair rest.

I’m sure I can speak for a majority of black girls that we do not like getting our hair touched at all, the blood, sweat and tears that go into looking after it, finding certified hair vendors, hairdressers, products, tying it up every night.

Hairdressers for me, I don’t let anyone do my hair I only go to two women and they really do God’s work.

Hair products honestly rip holes through my bank account like it’s so expensive, I can’t shop in regular shmegular boot’s or Superdrug for hair products, I have to go to Black/Asian owned businesses, they’re the only shops that will sell the products I need.

Experimenting with black hair it can really go two ways very well or extremely bad, a few years back I tried to relax my hair God forbid the outcome the hairdresser made my hair drop out, it actually took a good 3 years for parts of my hair to grow back, the growth is what kills me it takes such a long time, that’s why I hate my hair being touched.

We’re always fighting our hair edges, sometimes I want a slick ponytail or even a cute bun, but the hairs along my hairline do not allow that to happen at all, it’s a constant battle.

Wash Day, this is actually war three hours to comb out my hair, wash, condition & shampoo about 1/2 times, add in leave in conditioner let the conditioner soak into my hair for a good hour, separate my hair into four sections to then comb it out again! ( I hardly blow dry my hair) once its all combed through I proceed to straighten it either with a straightening brush as these aren’t particularly hot and heat damage is a killer or actual straighteners (once in a blue moon).

My point is I’ve received aggro in particular from white girls saying how their hair is difficult to deal with, honestly, it’s nothing compared to what us black or even mixed girls have to deal with.

The modelling industry (I wrote about this briefly in my last blog) but the model world we’d open magazines, watch adverts on televisions/billboards, see highlights from fashion weeks and still see a high number of lighter skinned people fulfilling these jobs when we also have darker skinned models that wanted the same dream to break out within the industry as well.

As a black girl, I know what colours work well with my skin tone and last year orange and yellow was popping on my skin tone, on lighter tones no offence but it defiantly didn’t do there skin any justice. The fashion world want to keep up with trends but are unexclusive on who they involve, first we were dealing with how you have to look a certain way, weight issues but we’ve always been dealing with skin tone and it’s just blatant racism, black people hardly ever feature on front covers of major magazine covers. Black model Jourdan Dunn told The Guardian back in 2013 that ” people in the industry say if you have a black face on the cover of a magazine it won’t sell.”

Recently I literally just learnt how bad the colourism problems were in Asia and the people that were quote tweeting saying how Asia was the worst place to come across anything to do with the colour I was like”Yeah whatever” but little did I know you lot was actually right. From what I’ve heard I now understand I know black people that have gone to China and they’d constantly get stared at and prodded by Chinese people, what’s that about? But you know what doesn’t surprise me as China are quite limited as they’re a communist country.

But first, let me talk about Vogue India and why they cast Kendall Jenner instead of an actual Indian model, it actually made no sense it was nonsense, it spun me even more that Vogue India did that, not Vogue New York, can’t lie but that sounds like self-hate, how can you not cast someone from your own country and as a 10 year anniversary to your magazine that’s what you wanted to do, completely flabbergasted. Kendall Jenner, I respected her but she really accepted this job, she ACCEPTED THE JOB, her manager let her accept the job as in Kris Jenner you let her accept it, Kendall is 100% American nothing else, how can you go so wrong with something so simple. Vogue really thought they were not going to receive heavy backlash, Kendall thought, bitch you thought

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Update: 04/03/18

Someone, please tell me why I’m seeing this family again with Vogue India, it’s like the backlash last time was not enough, Kim Kardashian is American with Armenian heritage, did anyone see me mention anything to do with Indian heritage? No neither did I, I can’t figure out why they keep taking jobs because they damn well know they’ll get done for cultural appropriation, and better yet Vogue India switched off their comments on all of Kim’s photo’s because they know as well what they’re doing, these people make me so enraged. 

Kim Kardashian looks stunning in all these photo’s but girl this is not your culture at all, you’re American Armenian, there’s no Vogue in Armenia go create it there and model for them, you celebrities cry when you get backlash as if you didn’t create it yourself.

Vogue India you lot are dumb and disgustingly stupid, your whole magazine doesn’t even represent India, it represents everywhere but India, you hire stylists that will happily play dress up with American models and dress them up, you have a whole country of models to pick from yet you play pick n mix with the rest of the world. Get a grip.

The women and men still striding down the runways are all still profoundly white, diversity isn’t a trend it’s certainly here to stay forever. Many models have been rejected because of skin colour or apparently “we have too many black girls”. Every race has different features, why on earth would you not want new unique features instead everyone is still looking at the same blonde haired blue eyes or brunettes.

Change it up

Models

Duckie Thot is Sudanese-Australian and was a runner-up on Australia’s next top model and is now making her way to be an international model. Duckie Thot revealed that she struggled to get her coins down under and decided to relocate to New York City, she was also worried about being in a country that didn’t promote black models.

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Shaun Ross is of African-American descent and was born in the Bronx, as Ross was growing up he received a lot of discrimination as he was albino, he was bullied for years and called names such as ‘powder’ ‘white-out’ and ‘Casper’. Ross was discovered on YouTube and switched over to the fashion Industry when he was just 16 years old. Before modelling Ross was a dancer and appeared in music videos like ‘Pretty Hurts’ ‘Party’ by Beyoncé and a few more.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

Joel Mignott is a 19-year-old model &  an aspiring DJ originally from Leeds. Signed to AMCK, Joel has travelled the world with his job & modelled for names such as Viviene Westwood, Adidas and Diesel. Joel has experienced setbacks within his career as people always wonders what race he is, Joel finds the issues of where to fall in.

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Destiny Owusu is Virginia born and of Ghanian descent, Owusu first started her modelling career at 22 years old. Owusu has experienced many setbacks being a black model, she stated “We have to work 10 times harder, because with agencies as long as they have that one token black girl, that’s all they want.” Owusu also said that if she could change one thing in the industry it would be diversity. Owusu’s African beauty & melanin movement has inspired many others to feel comfortable in the skin they’re in, she created the hashtag #isyourmelaninonfleek she has paved the way to becoming influential with no representation. 

Destiny

 

Khoudia Diop is Senegalese, Diop was teased as a child because of her dark skin but after moving to Paris at age 15, she was approached consistently with the suggestion she’d be a supermodel. In 2016 Diop moved to New York as was featured in the ‘Coloured girls project’ this led to Diop becoming Instagram famous and appeared in advertising for French cosmetics brand ‘Makeup forever’.

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Ashely Chew is 25 and the brain behind the movement #blackmodelsmatter, Chew is a model, activist and fashion & arts passionate, who fights every day for her rights. Chew was asked if she had ever been rejected from a casting her simple reply was “I’m lighter toned with green eyes” Chew has also struggled with modelling as her hair isn’t what is expected, they’ll ask her to straighten her hair or say they already have a girl that looks like her, Chew also stated “It’s almost like being too light for the black castings and being too dark for regular casting.”

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Winnie Harlow is a Canadian fashion model, spokesperson & activist. Winnie gained prominence as a contestant on ‘America’s next top model’ while having the skin condition vitiligo, while she was growing up Winnie was victimised and continuously got called names such as ‘cow’ or ‘zebra’ etc, she is of Jamaican ancestry. Winnie was diagnosed with Chronic skin condition characterized by depigmentation of portions of the skin. All the abuse she received Winnie considered Suicide.

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Personally, if people accepted that people of different skin tones and ethnic backgrounds were different and learned we all possess different qualities and look different a lot of problems from this century wouldn’t arise, a colour should no way determine what you can and can’t have, there’s space for everyone on this scene people just need to learn how to use all these features to their advantage. 

Update: 01/03/2018

I only saw these photo’s on this day, but 2018 black people being on the cover of major magazine’s we are certainly getting somewhere as a race.

Update: 07/03/18

I told Y’all.

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Bleaching  

Skin lightening/bleaching is a procedure to make dark areas of your skin lighter or to achieve a naturally lighter skin tone. Melanin is the pigment that gives skin it’s colour and protects it from the sun.

Bleaching never have and never will understand why you would want to go lighter like it’s so normalised now there are whole procedures to go lighter, the results aren’t even certain and the side effects you can get, do you people not fear God.

If you consider going lighter then please read and educate yourselves on what you’re doing to your skin.

Possible side effects
  • Skin Irritation/Inflammation
  • Burning sensation
  • Itchy & Flaky skin
What else could go wrong?
  • Skin turning to light/dark
  • Thinning of the skin
  • Visible blood vessels on the skin
  • Scarring
  • Kidney/liver damage
  • Abnormalities in a newborn baby

Honestly, the side effects sound normal to me, all those unknown ingredients you would happily put on your skin it’s slightly worrying.

But when I read the ‘what else could go wrong’ I’m shocked! People will generally go lighter with the risk of their health.

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“Health before wealth”

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Update: 07/03/18

Look what I found, these celebrities think you lot are weird, period.

50 shades of melanin

Yet only a few makeup companies can actually get it right with the foundations and concealers, there’s really 50 shades of melanin yet most makeup brands give a pick n mix of about 10! 

Personally, I don’t wear a lot of makeup at all, it’s effort to put on and take off! But that doesn’t mean I don’t see whats going on within, as an outsider looking in the makeup industry has messed up big time. 

I fully don’t know whats wrong with the people in this industry, some of them have their head screwed on others are just bloody PR stunters.

Now I’m going to educate you about the unexclusive and inclusive makeup brands.

Inclusive

  • Fenty Beauty 
  • Bobbi Brown
  • MAC
  • Maybelline
  • Nars

Robyn Rhianna Fenty, she really has done that! After seeing a void in the makeup market Rhianna really experimented with the best of the best in beauty. 40 shades of foundation and still plans to bring out more, not only is it inclusive it’s affordable.

Those two factors definitely lured me in, normally I would never leave my house for a launch but as soon as Fenty Beauty landed in the UK I know I had to try it, so I gave it three weeks before I went to Harvey Nichols, I really thought bitch I thought that there would be no queues, me and my friend were sadly mistaken. We turn up I kid you not the queue was three hours long so yeah I joined I certainly was not turning around like an idiot and going home! Fast forward now I get close to the front and finally let in, so of course, I bought the Foundation and KILLAWATT highlighter and they were my best purchases of 2017.

Bobbi Brown is No.1 leading makeup brands in the world for the past two decades Brown has worked on creating products to suit all skin tones. It’s the newest foundation called ‘Skin long wear weightless foundation’ contains 30 diverse colour options. The brand is available in over 60 countries and at 17 exclusive stores including Harrods, Macy’s, Selfridges etc and 75 freestanding stores. In SoHo London, Bobbi Brown recently opened a store it looks like a normal store upstairs but downstairs they hold masterclasses.

MAC is a leading professional makeup brand, co-founded by Frank Toskan. Toskan realised the lack of suitable colours and textures needed to maximize performance, Mac celebrates diversity and states on their ‘who are we’ page on their website that ‘We are for ALL ages, ALL races, ALL genders’.

Maybelline the company was created by a 19-year-old entrepreneur named Thomas Lyle Williams in 1915. Williams noticed his older sister ‘Mabel‘ applying vaseline and coal to her eyebrows to give them a darker fuller look. Williams adapted it with a chemistry set and produced a product sold locally called ‘Lash brow-Ine’ Fast forward now in addition to its expanding range Maybelline added on the ‘Fit me’ range which includes 40 shades.

Nars is a French Cosmetics and skincare company founded by makeup artist and photographer Francois Nars in 1994. In 2017 Nars announced that despite being against animal testing, it was a requirement for them to sell in China. Nars continues to grow it’s shade collection the brand’s new ‘natural radiant longwear foundation’ is available in 33 shades with a various amount of medium to deep tones to choose from.

Unexclusive

  • Kylie Jenner Cosmetics 
  • KKW Beauty
  • Lancome 
  • Physicians Formula
  • Benefit

Let me be straight I love the Kardashians/Jenners but they’ve pulled some horrendous stunts lately.

Kylie Jenner Cosmetics, none of her products bring the wow factor, her whole range has no originality for example ‘Kylighter’ all she did was add in her first two letters of her name to try and give it authenticity. Kylie recently bought out a makeup brush set costing $360 and had the audacity AUDACITY to compare her brand to high-end luxury brands such as Kevyn Aucoin, MAC etc, she received a substantial amount of backlash towards her twitter post announcing this, I wasn’t surprised they looked like paint brushes and lord they fray, no one wants to put makeup on with a brush that frays. 

Scam Brushes

 

KKW Beauty, ah with Kim Kardashians makeup line I really I just can’t, just look and tell me is that not clay?

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The other three please just look at the shade range and ask yourself “In big 2018 where is the diversity?”

Advertisement 

PR stunts: A planned event to attract the public attention to the event organisers or event

PR stunts are what gets everyone talking, H&M, Dove if you really believe they didn’t know what they were doing then I’m not sorry but you’re deluded.

These companies know what they’re doing, they love our arguments, the more we talk and type about their brand, the more money they’re receiving.

The H&M ad was genius apart from the smashing up of the stores in America, the creative team knew what they were doing, whoever passed that and allowed it to be drawn up and distributed those people are honestly laughing at us, even though they had to pull it from the stores in the end, the more we spoke, the more we typed and included them in our tweets or on any social media they were receiving money, and frankly that is all they care about. People were still going to shop their regardless of colour, they did an 80% off sale in some countries. The mother of the child she was going to get paid regardless so of course she allowed it and told everyone to ‘shut up’ in the process, imagine if she declined that opportunity…

The Dove advert when they showed a black woman turn into a white woman after using Dove body lotion, Dove responded with “We missed the mark” they didn’t miss the mark they knew exactly what they were doing.

When I first saw both of these adverts I thought it was a bluff but it was real, honestly, if I had a company that was known worldwide I’d be dropping stunts every other week, because when you lot speak and type they just earned money! Social media is where the money is, the sooner some of you realise that the more woke you’ll be.

The Nike Advert, that is one advert I can’t fault Nike really did that, included the London music scene and sports all in one advert! The only people that faulted this ad was really the Asians, like really who did you guys want Nike to include in the ad??? And the worst thing is you guys were screaming at black people like we were the ones that created, directed and published the advert it isn’t our fault, you lot had so much energy, redirect that to Nike headquarters.

London really used everything that makes ‘London Culture’

  • Barbershops
  • Corner shops
  • Santander Bikes
  • Chicken shops
  • DJ 
  • Black Cabs 
  • The Underground
  • Bipolar Weather

They used our slang they interpreted everything that is us and what makes a Londoner.

Music Industry & Music video ideologies

Matthew Knowles said “The music industry must stop ignoring singers with darker skin”

The music industry is doing so well in the UK with light/white men/girls and even dark-skinned men, but what about the dark skinned girls? Is the issue darker than colourism, could it be sexism within the race? To me, it just doesn’t make any logical sense how can the men of the same skin tone be doing so well but the ladies are literally fighting and scrambling to the top.

The Music videos are a different ball game, why are there so many light/white skinned females in music videos now and hardly any dark-skinned females, the UK music scene will not be diverse until it rectifies this problem.

Blitter

Ah Blitter the time where the Twitter purge began and everyone transferred to Blitter known as (Black Twitter)

Honestly, Blitter went downhill so swiftly and quickly, the app had no originality used the exact same features from Twitter, the interface didn’t change at all except there’s was 100 times shitter than Twitter. The owner of the social media application was absolutely crazy at the start I thought yeah he’s alright because really Twitter headquarters don’t interact with us all they want to do is suspend accounts all day but Pat the guy that created the app interacted with his supporters, sounds like a swell app right?

Oh, and by the way the app is racist and I have clear evidence to show this.

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Deep the photographic evidence this guy has to be ill.

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Racist/Discriminative Brands 

Amazon 

Wycon

Shea Moisture

Versace

Tommy Hilfiger

Marc Jacobs

American Eagle

Kendall & Kylie 

BooHoo

Straight up facts, these have all been broadcasted on the news and social media.

Amazon recently had to pull a product of off their shelves which a third party user was selling which was products like baby bibs, mugs and T-shirts were all up for grabs, it had a saying printed on it that said: “Slavery gets shit done”. The offensive merchandise got removed and Amazon released a statement saying “It wasn’t me” but really in truth it was them because don’t you have any guidelines on your site or a process that you should go through to get a product posted.

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Wycon an Italian beauty brand got into hot water internationally when they released a nail polish named ‘Thick as a nigga’ what colour was that meant to represent? Oh yeah of course black. After being called out Wycon never actually apologised they just changed all their nail polishes to numbers.

They further released a statement, honestly, you’re going to laugh about what they said queue the laughter ” We’re sorry this post triggered these types of reactions, every colour from our gel collections is ‘Inspired’ with a ‘Cheerful‘ attitude and a ‘Pinch‘ of naivety.”

Complete and utter bullshit.

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Shea Moisture in the spring of 2017 black beauty brand makes the greatest stumble of all time (that’s my opinion) in their haircare commercial. A black woman with long stringy hair was compared to two white women who also lamented their hair struggle. 

Some black women including me felt like shea moisture was turning their backs on their real audience to an audience that literally doesn’t know about struggle upon their head tops.

Shea Moisture admitted they ‘Fucked up‘ and also announced that Unilever is acquiring it, wonder what this means for future advertisements.

The one ad that I saw that actually made no common sense.

Versace

‘Versace Versace, Medusa head on me like I’m Illuminati’

In 2016 a former Versace employee vowed to sue the luxury retailer, accusing the company of discrimination for its use of a secret code they use when a black person enters the store which alerts staff and security. The former employee who was hired in the San Francisco store 2016 said the code ‘D410’ alerts when someone of black skin tone enters and is then followed around the store. The code is also the brand’s label for a black t-shirt. According to TMZ, the man was fired after telling his employer he was African American.

Tommy Hilfiger 

“My passion for music has always inspired my designs”

Tommy Hilfiger was accused of being racist when a ‘Chain Letter’ went round of his saying if he knew minorities were going to wear his clothes he would’ve never made them and wishes they would stop wearing them. How lovely.

In 2014, however, Hilfiger did say that while hip-hop’s adoption of his clothing ‘Fueled growth‘ for his label, he’s disappointed at the urban demographic ‘Took us away from our roots‘ So is the word urban black? 

Marc Jacobs 

” I always find beauty in things that are odd & imperfect- they are much more interesting”

During 2016’s NYFW Marc Jacobs felt a wrath of Twitter backlash as he sent predominately white models down the runway in dreadlocks, which many felt was a blatant appropriation of black culture. 

Jacobs response: ” all who cry ‘cultural appropriation’ or whatever nonsense about any race or skin colour wearing their hair in a particular style or manner – funny how you don’t criticize women of colour for straightening their hair” Ouch.

But wait is straightening only for white people? Because I’m pretty sure when I was growing up I used a flat iron comb, but hey you know what if that’s what Jacobs wanted to bring to the table than so be it.

A few days later he issued an apology on his Instagram page.

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American Eagle

“Don’t quack like a duck, soar like an eagle”

In December 2017 people were outraged at American Eagle who was selling bracelets that looked like slave shackle cuffs.

The public started sharing photo’s of the bracelets on December 11th, by December 12th they issued out an apology.

American Eagle pulled the product from the shelves but a few days later the public still found them in stores up and down the USA.

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Kendall + Kylie

“It’s always the people that know the least about you, that want to judge you the most”

2017 Kendall & Kylie Jenner were in hot water with the public again for plastering their faces over popular music icons.

After controversy and heavy backlash, Kendall & Kylie pulled the t-shirts from their site, the shirts were put on their website June 28th, 2017 and removed the very next day, the sisters put their faces over the likes of Biggie, 2pac and The Doors. 

They were even issued with a lawsuit as their faces ruined the trademark of The Doors.

They issued an apology.

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Boohoo/Nasty Gal

Before being sold to BooHoo (If BooHoo minded their business they wouldn’t have been in this predicament) Nasty Gal went under fire for appropriating black culture with a $50 faux leather do-rag.

The discontinued product sparked outrage in 2014 after users on Twitter questioned if Nasty Gal knew the true function of a do-rag, which is to protect and maintain natural hairstyles.

Vegan??

 

Blackface

“Blackface is a form of theatrical makeup used predominantly by non-black performers to represent a black person” 

Blackface was either a layer of burnt cork, a layer of cocoa butter or black grease paint, in the early years they painted on red lips to resemble a clown, costumes were either swallowtail coats, striped hats and top hats. 

Minstrel shows entertainment imitated black music, dance and imitated ‘plantation talk’. The shows featured some of the most ‘ugliest‘ African Americans from 1840- 1890, minstrel shows were the most popular form of entertainment in America.

The Golliwog is a black fictional character that resembles the exact same features as blackface.

It is the 21st Century 2018 and blackface and golliwogs still exist to this day, Blackface started in the 18th century over 200 years ago and us black people are getting resembled a doll and we still get taken for idiots by fellow white people. We are not clowns, we are not your entertainment at all.

Careers/Work Paths

“Ever felt like you haven’t been accepted because of your skin colour? Yeah same”

Some workplaces just aren’t diverse enough, to be honest, I’ve never let this stop me from getting to where I want to be, but I’ve had a good few arguments along the way because I’m always adding my signature somewhere to guidelines like ‘We accept everyone no matter what background or race your from‘ And most of the time it ends up complete and utter bullshit. I’ve been discriminated at work so many times, I’ve had managers all up in my space talking down to me like I’m a child and stupid, I’m far from that, did I ever report any of these incidents? No I did not my mindset back then and kind of still now is that the white man won’t listen and in my case it’s true, I’d report something and it will get shoved in the bin, a white person will report the exact same thing and of course it becomes a priority! Am I an idiot? 50/50 really. I wanted to quit some of these jobs so bad but no one will ever get in the way of my money and qualifications absolutely impossible.

There was one job I absolutely adored, but I started to hate it once we got new management, there was one event I had to work at over 1000 + people attended this event, my manager treated me like a slave like I actually felt like a slave, it was a 15 hour shift from the last minute planning to sort out big preparations, I value my job description and honestly the things he made me do, certainly werent in my job description, and oh yes I’m one of those people if it isn’t in my job description then piss off I ain’t doing it, I did as I was told for about 12 hours the last three hours my anger was boiling and honestly my anger is not something to play with because once I flip it’s game over. I’m 100% sure he was doing it on purpose long story short I flipped and got so angry I cried and traded some very nasty words towards my manager, I told my mum and she went ballistic because I never cry I also quit my job.

It was the fact I was the only black person doing the dirty work everyone was chilling, watching the boxing event, I was going back and forth like a flipping circus animal.

Update: 08/03/18

Honestly, I’m extremely upset & extremely infuriated about what I witnessed on Twitter 07/03/18 “Fuck the blacks” I felt extremely sorry for the girl that had to put up with this as she was the only black person on that floor, it is a hate crime! I know racism still goes on till this day, but it’s not even on a sly it was full on and I’m highly disgusted by Nottingham Trent Uni, they responded far too late for my liking, if this was dealt with earlier it probably wouldn’t of reached the likes of social media but I’m glad it did!

Now have a look at some more evidence and opinions:

 

Nottingham Trent University, look what you have done, you’ve ruined the reputation of your own university for not responding in the correct time frame.

How can this be reported on Monday and you want to come and issue a response 3 days later, the young woman had to bring the situation to social media’s attention just so it could receive an uproar so you lot could respond! You would’ve dusted this under the carpet like other issues, which I have further evidence on.

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All these universities claim they have ‘support’ but you don’t, a situation similar to this happened at De Montfort University in Leicester (DMU). DMU I definitely didn’t forget about you lot.

You universities love ruining your reputation, either accommodate every single race or close them down. 

Oh and the Daily Mail, I see how you were very quick to swoop down and collect the news and write your article.

Listen to me, you lot are not slick in the slightest.

Daily Mail keep the same energy! You hate us one week and the next week you want to write a supporting article. 

Sorry but I don’t like you at all.

If this was my situation, I can’t lie I wouldn’t hold back at all the same attitude you people think black people have ‘The angry black woman’ I’d unleash it 100% paint me with that brush, wouldn’t care less don’t be racist and not expect a backlash!

If a group of black boys were to walk past, those white men would’ve ducked their heads, a young black girl on her own in her accommodation had to experience this.

I could never imagine getting through all the stages of getting to university and then a situation like this occurs.

I understand steps have now been taken as arrests have been made & suspensions have been enforced, but that is not enough! Their courses need to be terminated, named and shamed, faces need to be shown, in the real world things like this cannot run at all.

A few of my opinions:

If you follow me you should know, that I was literally going for anyone with a silly opinion.

@RufaroChisango_  I stand by you, and so do a majority of Twitter.

Interesting Questions

Why is it acceptable for black women to openly prefer dark skin men over light skin men, but black men can’t openly prefer light skin women over dark skin women?
Do you pick friends based on skin tone?

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Does dark-skinned privilege exist?

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Jorja Smith

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All races answer…Do you like your skin tone? If no why not?
&
If you could would you change your skin tone?

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Do you think people use colourism as a scapegoat for the fact their ugly?
&
Why is it always the ugly girls feel a type of way, when it comes to colourism why do people relate to men’s preferences and not a social construct?

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Now to all the tweets where I just couldn’t figure out where to add them in but all equally important as each other.

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To everyone that enjoyed my thread and took time out to say, I certainly didn’t miss you out and I’m ever so grateful.

My Personal Hypothetical

Personally, to me, it all boils down to racism, colourism and discrimination.

If those three things didn’t exist this world wouldn’t be so twisted, looking at slavery it’s so immorally incorrect and I will never understand how you can punish someone on the colour of skin, if I had the option to change the skin tone I 100% wouldn’t if I have to take all the abuse that comes with it, then so be it. I’m black and I’m so proud some of the history associated with the colour black is disheartening, but our ancestors fought for our freedom! 

Civil rights activist Rosa Parks 1913-2005, refused to surrender her seat to a white passenger on a segregated Montgomery bus which spurred on the 381-day boycott. This helped launch nationwide efforts to end segregation of public facilities. The city of Montgomery had no other choice but to lift the law requiring segregation on public buses. Rosa Parks did that.

Social Activist and Baptist minister, Martin Luther King Jr led the civil right’s movement from the mid-1950’s until his death by assassination in 1968. 

 King received the Nobel peace prize in 1964 along with several other honours, assassinated in 1968 he still lives on to be one of the most influential African American leaders in history.

“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”  — Martin Luther King, Jr. / “I Have A Dream” speech, August 28, 1963

South African Activist and former president Nelson Mandela 1918-2013 helped bring an end to apartheid and has been a global advocate for human rights. A member of the African National Congress party beginning in the 1940s, he was a leader of both peaceful protests and armed resistance against the white minority’s oppressive regime in a racially divided South Africa. This manoeuvre landed Mandela in jail for nearly three decades, but he was the face of the apartheid movement. Mandela was released from jail in 1990 and participated in the eradication of apartheid and became the first black president of South Africa.

Antiapartheid: The anti-apartheid movement, originally known as the boycott movement, was a British Organisation that was at the centre of the international movement opposing South Africa’s system of supporting South Africa’s non-whites.

Honestly, we have so many more people but these were honestly the greatest people in my opinion! They lived and died by the movement and they will always live on!

I wrote something a few months ago and hopefully, it can sum up my conclusion because I am absolutely lost for words.

All colour, ethnicity & race is beautiful. 

Black is beautiful.

Mixed Raced is beautiful.

Brown is beautiful.

White is beautiful.

We all slay every day, don’t we?

Don’t get it twisted we’re all ugly in someone’s eyes, but we’re all beautiful in someone else’s right? 

We as humans weren’t made for everyone, we don’t get accepted by everyone but that’s okay because that’s life isn’t it? Or wait am I wrong is that just my conception of my life lessons, or is it the god damn truth that everyone should bloody well listen too?

Oh, I don’t know what is life, what is beautiful, what the hell is ugly, who created these words, was it YOU, did you give us your unwanted opinions? 

My own words 

This one is very short as I just didn’t know what I was writing, but in this day and age I see a lot of slander  on race, colour, ethnicity the whole bloody lot, this hatred for other people will never stop, no race is better than one, no ethnicity is more powerful than the other and no colour is more superior, God created every single one of us differently so no one has the right to say anyone is ugly or disgusting. But I honestly do believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that not everyone will find us all beautiful but that’s okay, God created us all with different features so we can all individually stand out and be unique. 

I’m pretty sure no one would like to be the exact same as someone else, everyone’s personality is completely different, we all get angry differently, for example, I get angry in the speed of sound while others can just keep their cool and act as if everything is a walk in the park. But don’t be scared of being different, act out, go crazy, experiment with things, do you! 

Regarding my cover photo, I wanted to outline all the different features everyone possesses whether your black, white, pink, orange or purple, everyone is different in their own way, shape and form.
Hope everyone has seen my vision and liked it. 

Teeks X

 

 

 

 

The Creatives Industry

 

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This is an inspired blog from Twitter of course where else, the creatives industry, especially within the black community, is lacking dramatically if you think otherwise you’re clearly deluded, but if you have an opinion then have it all for freedom of speech and all of that, I have seen some companies thrive and do well, they have the followers, content and most importantly the consistency, but some of you in this industry are bitter.

The creatives going to be included:

THE MUSIC INDUSTRY

YOUTUBERS

(ART)ISTS

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCERS

FASHION DESIGNERS

MODELS

I’ve been scrolling through Twitter as I do and, just found tweets that correlated heavily and so many people are woke on this situation but what can be done on something that is literally spiralling out of control at a rapid rate.

The creative sector currently employs 3 million people, the number of jobs in creative arts and design rose by 5 % in 2016 and the growth of the sector is expected to carry on rising.

THE MUSIC INDUSTRY

“The scene is so fake.” @Jamzldnkmt

The music scene has so much potential within the realm of possibilities, however, there are too many people who don’t know what category they belong to at all, it is starting to look like a travesty.

Grime is getting mixed up with drill, singers are hopping into the drill scene, Afrobeats and Bashment are clashing continuously, some people won’t collaborate at all, the females within the scene it’s too small, it’s a shambles.

We have people coming on the scene taking the mick, like the You tuber Vanbanter, some people really have gassed him up for what reason, you’re giving attention to people that don’t need it yet there’s a rapper/singer out there looking for the same attention but their not getting it.

We as a collective need to stop shouting ‘We need to get this person signed’ please we cannot come like that American guy @IamAkademiks he’s made the likes of ‘boonk’ famous, he entertains all these dumb people for retweets and likes, this stupidness cannot come and land itself in the UK.

The way some people overhype their friends in this industry is ludicrous, especially when the song is wham. Some music that gets put out it’s like some of you are deaf, the beats are first class until some of you spit over the beat or even sing and it just ruins the whole aura.

I’ve personally been sent songs to review and I honestly enjoy doing it and giving my opinion and feedback where needed, please if your looking for your song to be reviewed get someone out of your circle to do so, because lies can really take shit music far, also when advice is given don’t get defensive because the music industry is far from a walk in the park, it can be a dream come true or a nightmare about to begin.

” The lack of professionalism shown by UK musicians is genuinely baffling” @Or_cle

“From when some of them can’t take criticism, no way they are going to be professional”  @StevenChap

Personally I think the UK creatives industry is lacking professionalism, you’ll make a comment about someone’s music and the way they’ll come for you like nobody’s business it is insane, the music is for the people, doesn’t matter what audience but your projecting towards us, so if your music is shit we should be able to project our voices without constant issues, I’ve made comments about people’s music and even though I can’t sing/ rap whatever, I can filter between worthy and unworthy music, I’ve seen musicians personally search for people’s @’s on Twitter to look for comments, honestly it’s too sad, either do your thing and accept the good and bad comments and improve or move from the scene and give someone else a chance, there’s enough space for everyone in the scene but it’s how you get noticed.

Ramz- Barking, I admit from the start I didn’t like this song only because to me the lyrics actually made no logical sense to me ” I might link my ting from Barking 7am in the morning” can’t lie that bar spun me into another dimension, who’s linking who at 7am? Not even PM a whole AM, but I started hearing this tune daily, then hourly I added it to one of my YouTube playlists and that was it for me, it’s so catchy like ‘Addison Lee’ or ‘Man’s not hot’ I feel like it’s very similar to Addison Lee well the video scene, but either than that Ramz is taking the UK charts by storm, the highest charting rap in the UK in 3 years, if that’s not an accomplishment then I don’t know what is, the hate I’ve seen Ramz receive though it’s actually horrible fair enough your allowed to have your opinion but you lot are deep, every bit of hate he’s received he’s bounced back he even apologised to someone because they said his song was shit, he continued to say that he can only do better and improve.

Ramz is only 20, from South London honestly you people always want people from ends to blow but you won’t even give this artist a time of day, South London is on the map again, you people hating did the exact same thing with Not3s & Michael Dapaah honestly give it a rest.

Stop dividing our race and support your black brothers & sisters.

Real Recognise Real”

On the week beginning 08/01/18 I decided to collect some information, here are my results:

Personally, I think it’s lacking both, some people are really professional and some people really need a tutorial on how to come correct.

Creativity is lacking a lot, we have people spitting bars about hood life when they live a good quiet life.

Recently there was a dispute on the TL between Dimzy and his self because I’m pretty sure Michael Dapaah didn’t do anything purposely wrong.

For anyone that didn’t quite understand what was going on here is what I got out of it so ‘Man’s not hot’ went viral over 177 million hits on YouTube, Mr Dapaah has flown around the world performing his new hit, now where it got sticky is 67 said that Mr Dapaah should’ve given them more exposure as it was their beat which went with their song ‘Let’s lurk’ which was released a year ago and received 12 million hits, but Twitter being Twitter people clearly knew where the beat originally came from and it was 86, not being funny but I didn’t see 86 complain, I would’ve bought royalties to the beat, but Michael Dapaah really grabbed his opportunity and I’m mad happy for him.

No losses just lessons” ~ @23Unofficial

 

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Within the black community with females I’m not seeing a lot in the industry, I really think it’s harder for black females to break out, always have to look a certain way, certain sound, honestly it’s easier for males.

There are so many black females that deserve exposure, so I’ll list a few of my favourites:

@Aprilmusic ‘Turn away’

@RebeccaWinter_x ‘Dance with me’

@Nallie_SheTrap ‘Which gyal man’

@DeliciaEmusic ‘Your mine’

@Bleuautumn New Single ‘Good girl’ behind the scenes footage

@MissLottieJade – ‘Oh well’

 

21/01/18 I conducted more questions on Twitter, I swear I was meant to ask five questions but honestly I saw people answering them so I was like to myself “Yo this is fun lets just carry it on”forty-nine questions later I rounded it up and told everyone I was tired, I was not tired but honestly I got some spectacular results, I’ll list a few of the questions down below along with responses.

Who’s your favourite artist and why?

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Who’s the hardest drill artist out there?

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K-Trap, Headie One was definitely winning.

Skengdo X AM & Loski, these three were very close behind.

 

Who’s the hardest rapper out there?

Which artists do you think will blow this year? (UK) 

What are the negatives & positives of the music industry?

Is drill a bad influence on the younger generation?

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As I know a few of you won’t have twitter here’s a link to the full question thread ‘Creatives Thread’

Take a look around you, different views on the same topic shared daily.

I listen to Soundcloud a lot, it’s the point when I get bored of Apple Music, and the artists from Soundcloud that I want on Apple Music just aren’t there, so I have to swap! However Soundcloud has the mixes I want to hear or just different rappers or singers, I’ve discovered a lot of people through there and there’s honestly so many people that deserve exposure or a few minutes out of someone’s day to help them blow, so I’ll list a few of mine.

Wisdom – Addicted 

Dok- Stressin me

Bruvahood – Certain man

Teks Sinatra – Letter to my unborn 

Ratlin- More money, more problems 

Dinero- crush it 

Mischief- Uckerz Badderz 

Sketch- Nights in the trap

Tolu mogul- We came a long way 

Dolo brassi- Round here 

Ambush X SP Montiz- Extra 

Tex- Cold love & Cold love (part 2)

Richlove- All for you 

Tisrome- Nigga like me 

100KAY- Class A

Central C- Line

OfficiallySVR- Perspective

Renne- Addicted Ft Lottie Jade

Nics – EPsode 1: Recognise

I’m going to post all my Soundcloud playlists below, please some of them don’t make sense though, I just add music to any list but one day, not this year I’ll rearrange them.

Supposed Grime Playlist

Mix & Mash

Strictly Drill

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++Destination Unkwn++

Album Produced by @LWRNCE1 & @PRVXMITI

Sound Engineered, mixed & mastered by @LWRNCE1

Featuring: @MAGSDBF @KINGKYLA @MULANROUGE

Released 22/01/18

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stream/ buy this album, available on all platforms

Links will be below:

Apple Music

Amazon

Google Play

Tidal

Spotify

 

One Take

@Only1Tizz

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#PEN2CHALLENGE

@VezzyCrooks

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Looking for a new collaboration?

Have a listen to both & please follow their socials.

YOUTUBERS

YouTubers are literally the second worst in my category, I’ve seen that some of them literally converse with the same people, videos with the same people and when a new person jumps on the scene and asks for simple advice a majority of them are just shut down, everyone wants to ‘win’ so badly but won’t help each other prosper, this behaviour is very foul. Personally, I’ve wanted to join YouTube for time but how the scene is at the moment I might just have to take a seat until people start to come correct, the only people that can change it is us, not just creatives but everyone.

 

We’ve had the likes of Oloni ( Award-winning sex & relationships blogger) try and help pave the way for new YouTubers, on the 17/01/18 @Oloni created a thread prompting new YouTubers to share their links, the tweet itself gained over 2000+ replies and it helped a lot of people gain subscribers.

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Personally, I thought this was an incredible idea, so many people got involved even people I followed who I never knew had YouTube tagged themselves in and shared.

“This really isn’t my market but 2018 black British YouTubers, please start collaborating more with each other, not this cliquey thing, bring each other up and support each other and get your coins, lastly be genuine about it too, don’t try work with someone to get your clout up.” @Ghostbanks ( Sauce Ctrl)

This is so correct to me, Ghost Banks is a creative himself and even sees the industry itself for what it really is, this whole clique nonsense needs to get cancelled, redirected and teleported back to 2017.

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From @Ghostbanks, @ProdbyMk & @shotbykaiz they’ve all come together to create:  “Wave Like Me”

                                                       Here’s a small snippet, Full video on YouTube

 Wave Like Me

Video Vixens you’re up next, you vixens can stay in the YouTube category because some of you are either front and centre of just in the background making some sort of movement, some of you vixens make me laugh, the music videos I’ve watched and seen some of these girls in with no purpose to be there just make me scream.

The one music video I’ve watched for me to gather an opinion is ‘Sun goes down’ by Belly Squad X Section Boyz if you haven’t then please click the link and watch the girls, to me the girls look like they actually don’t want to be there at all, they’re all bopping to different beats, it’s actually a mess, however I have nothing against these girls clearly because I don’t know them, however the song is levels.

 

21/01/18 Regarding my results on video vixens with the ‘Sun goes down’ visuals I found two people who had more of the same opinion as me.

What music video do you think has the most useless video vixens?

 

(ART)ISTS

The art I’ve seen on my timeline over the past few years I’m honestly amazed, I could never draw as a kid let alone in art class at school, my stickmen looked like they were on crack! Being an artist is a real talent, the work, hours, reaching standards, getting noticed looks like a lot of work but must be so rewarding sharing your work with the world.

There are only a five people that consistently catch my eye, so if I was you check them out:

@Pricisionart

@SelluBanya1

@KirzArt

@PedroAB_

@KashARTwork

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

One word

Talented.

I can’t even draw on paint, I have no patience and to do this I know you have to have a lot of that.

There are only two graphic designers I actually really like or pay attention too and will defiantly be using their services in the coming months.

Joe (@Unfamiliarjoe) Owner of (www.thefilterplug.com)

The one thing filter plug is clearly known for is snapchat filters, you’re probably thinking but you can get filters from snapchat.

If you are thinking that yes you’re correct but I’m sorry if you buy your filters from snapchat you’re very mad.

First of all snapchat filters from snapchat are boring and basic looking, I tested out the service for myself and let me tell you never again, I compared areas and the pricing goes up depending on your geographical area, imagine paying more for a service because you live in London or less because you live in the countryside, sorry but I don’t think so.

The same snapchat that wanted to charge us for certain filters or that one where it would cost 79p for a replay a REPLAY, come say I miss my a snap by accident and I have to pay to see it again, I certainly cannot come and kill myself, your probably thinking but 79p isn’t a lot of money, the way I miss people’s snaps by skipping them when they get sent to me I’d be spending £10 in one sitting.

Why buy Geo – filters from snap chat when you can go to ( The filter plug) get one specially made for any occasion and they’re all unique.

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Want a Snapchat filter? Want a logo? Business Card? The filter plug is your new go-to!

(@Whybleach) Owner of (dbwb.co.uk)

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Design your own package? You now know where to go.

 

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCERS

19/01/18 Today I read a news article regarding Elle Darby a social media influencer, she focuses mostly on fitness, lifestyle, travel & beauty. Elle Darby sent an email to a luxury hotel in Dublin requesting a 5 night free stay in exchange for exposure, the hotel turned around and declined this request, the hotel owner Paul Stenson released the email and rubbed out the influencers name but it wasn’t done properly, you could slyly see her second name, once people recognised who it was Elle received a substantial amount of backlash from the public.

 

Images from ( @d_alesheaMUA)

My personal opinion of all of this, I’m livid and the news article also gave me brain damage for a few hours, this girl is absolutely insane, so Elle Darby thought because she is a social media influencer she could get a free stay in exchange for some poxy exposure, the hotel is luxury and she offered exposure, some of you social media influencers think your the dog’s bollocks, couple thousand followers and requesting free shit, look at the economy and you want to be asking for FREE stuff.

Half of you buy your followers for what reason I will never work out, saying you have a business through your following count but baby please who are you promoting too if half of them are fake/ghost?

The entitlement you ‘social media influencers’ think your worthy of is ridiculous, don’t forget you’re normal people as well, wouldn’t catch me emailing brands asking for collaborations it would have to be the other way round.

Moving on slightly some of you ‘social media influencers’ who ask for people to pay for promotions, fair enough everyone makes’s their money in various ways, but it’s you lot that someone will pay you and then you say you’ll promote and you don’t do it are you sick? And please some of you aren’t slick people can defiantly tell the difference between paid and genuine promotion, paid you lot don’t put in any effort, this singing/rapping venture whatever some people are into, is actually their grind and for it not to be promoted properly while it’s been paid for, I’d really fight someone.

I’ve seen someone with 300k followers promote a song and it got a marga 20 likes & 30 retweets, I was so confused.

I first joined Twitter seven years ago, honestly back in the day I had every social media platform there was, I wanted to be in with the times and didn’t want to be left behind, at the start I did not understand twitter at all, likes, retweets, DM ( I didn’t know what ‘DM’ stood for, I left twitter and came back in 2012 when Twitter was in it’s prime, honestly all my tweets from when I first joined are still around, I tweeted the stupidest shit ever, however I learnt for myself how to work twitter, I gained followers and continued that growth, I really learnt what a simple retweet could do I was so astonished, I’ve made friendships, business contacts all through just socialising, honestly I would’ve never started a blog if my followers weren’t up but all my followers are authentic, and if you deem yourself to be a ‘social media influencer’ yours should be too can’t be selling dreams.

 

FASHION DESIGNERS

 

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Hello…hi, this tweet honestly made me scream with laughter because it’s so true, some of you slap your logo on a cheap product and sell it for triple the price, I’m sorry I’ll happily shop from the white man, people are honestly creating logo’s and slapping them here, there and everywhere they want to call themselves a fashion designer/graphic designer, sorry but it doesn’t work like that at all, it’s actually very cheeky.

I’ve seen people personally work consistently on a craft day in day out, fashion designers are perfectionists, imagine throwing a design away because there’s something just not right but you can’t figure out what.

Perfect your craft and graft effortlessly till you know it’s something you want to see someone styling out.

I’ve only seen a few black clothing lines I’d buy off and they are:

EL Velvet

Grind shine LDN

Gone Club

 

MODELS

“Beautiful” “Hold that pose” “Work the camera” “Ok now I want you to take off your clothes” “Sorry but you’re not tall enough for the runway, maybe commercial” “You’re too big to model, slim down maybe” “This is your career” “Do this shoot, then you can have fun”

Any of these sayings sound familiar to you?

I’ve been to a few shoots myself, some of them were fun, some not so much, the not so fun ones where you had to do outfit changes in minutes, going to and from hair and makeup, back on the set, honestly it’s tiring I’ve had to give it a rest.

The modelling industry, one of the hardest industries to get into, having to look a certain way, specific heights, you have to have the LOOK! I don’t know what the ‘look’ is but I guess agencies know what they are looking for and what the new in thing is!

Personally from looking at the modelling industry a few years ago to now, it’s come a long way, plus size models did not exist, it was a size 4-8 or nothing, I found that a bit absurd I really use to think who could fit into a size 4, well it’s me I used to be able to, let me repeat USED to, not anymore now I’m a mere size 6-8, I used to hate being so small everyday “Your anorexic”  more time it was just a high metabolism that I had/have no control over, but a few years later I’m overly thankful as I can eat whatever I want without worrying about gaining weight.

In addition to the modelling industry it’s improving dramatically I never thought I would see change, but its happening the first plus-sized model was Emme Aronson, Emme is a body positive supermodel that has paved the way for the woman to know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Nevertheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I want to dedicate this part of my blog to Harry Uzoka.

harry-uzoka-Matt-Stansfield-caleo-mag-01-1

Our black brother is no longer with us and he never deserved what happened to him.

Jehovah Jireh, there is none like you. Everyday we want to praise & worship your glorious name. Today we weep at the death of our friends, family, or loved ones, but blessed father, we can rest assured knowing we can find comfort and peace within you, in the midst of our tears & our grief. Lord, we shout your praises, because you have turned our mourning into dancing.” 

Peace go with you.

God’s quiet within the noise

God’s hope within the uncertainty

God’s rest with the toil

God’s presence within your soul

Peace go with you”

May his soul rest in perfect peace.

 

There is a lot of platforms that are for sure getting the scene seen more, and they’re honestly my favourites pages, which are:

Make sure to follow them up!

At long last I have come to the end of writing out this blog, I’ve really enjoyed writing this, hopefully, I have opened a few eyes on what is really going on in the creatives industry too many people get thrown under the bus and honestly it needs to stop.

People need to learn to come together and support each other I’ve screamed about support in previous blogs and this will be the last one (I’m probably lying, don’t mind me) I’ll be mentioning it in, it’s ridiculous what I’ve been seeing lately, support your brothers and sisters we are all striving for the top and to be successful.

Please continue to support each other there is enough space at the top for everyone, there’s no reason to knock someone’s grind, opinions are allowed but be careful how you go about it.

Real rap needs to come back onto the scene. Real hood storytellers none of this fake shit.

We need to see more versatility, flows, melodies, lyricism, we need deliverance.

We need experimental music, so far we have Afro- trap, Afro beats, we need more, being different is what the scene needs. UK music will and shall always prosper.

We need fresh faces. We need to give fresh talent a chance.

Anyone in the creatives section needs a strong team behind them binding them together.

We can’t do this shit on our own, support is vital.

But it will only prosper if we allow it too, there’s too much negativity in each and every sector, it can only move forward if we accept it.

I actually enjoyed doing the question thread, first off I really needed those responses and I loved seeing everyone come together with their opinions everything was so positive as in there was no arguments started there was minor debates and just agreements, that’s what I like to see.

I’ve tried to feature as many people as I could within this blog, all @’s our included I’m not a person where I’ll drop names out unlike some.

2018, we are out here chasing dreams, aspire to inspire before we expire” ~Teeks

Thank you to everyone who continues to support I really appreciate it.
See you in my next one.
Teeks X

 

Goodbye 2017.

2017-2018

I’ve decided to write a blog about Twitter and other social sites but mostly Twitter because what’s gone down on the Twitter TL this year has made me laugh and made me scream literally, the clap backs I’ve seen some people receive its made me grip my non-existent chest in agony, I’m that person that will just scroll and scroll till I find the root of the argument or sometimes I’ll make a quick two’s two comments then dip out again and say in my head “That’s your problem”

THE WHOLE SAGA

‘Come collect your man Whitney’
‘Sayphilzki’ (Clothing line grafted though) but did she say philzki?
‘SpAcNaTiOn’ (Gifty & The Skengman)
‘Men are trash’ (continued)
‘BkchatLDN’ (Nunu admitting she’s been eating out on her reds)
‘ Caribbean vs Africans’
‘Bashment vs Afrobeats ( “If you don’t play Afrobeats at your wedding, what are you going to play?”
‘Curious cat’ (Found out my boyfriend was bullying me about my weight)
Nyash vs breasts
Portugal Invasion ( Common £200 flights deetsed, fake money, fake garms)
Black girls hating on black girls (Zero sense)
“I spent over £3000 on driving lessons”
25+ Twitter
“You people still beat people from the TL”
“Your body count still looking like the yellow pages”

“Twitter Purge”

The twitter purge was the weirdest thing to come about, people’s accounts were getting suspended left, right and centre ( but mine didn’t though, too blessed to be stressed) and it only targeted UK accounts, normally if you get suspended you get a warning and shown the tweet that caused ‘offence’ which no one seemed to get, it was more black twitter I saw got kicked off and that’s why everyone moved to ‘Blitter’ which is black twitter supposedly well it is, but I don’t have time for people calling me a racist, the amount of white people that got reported and suspended within a few minutes I’m sorry but it was actually funny just shows how fast and vigilant people really are. I had a Blitter account from day dot so as soon as Blitter came out I made an account, the app was dry as the Sahara desert, but I gave it a chance and kept the app as decoration, as soon as the purge began I swapped to my other twitter account and started following bare people just in case my main went down, I went to Blitter because twitter was boring without the regular accounts, chatting shit, making jokes or just generally there existing, but really I knew Blitter was not going to last for long, the Americans thought they ran shit on there like honestly they did not, they were arguing with us over dumb shit like “AmErIcA Is BeTtEr ThAn THe Uk” WOT the fuck??? Donald Duck is running your country and they wanted to argue I think the fuck not.

I understand Blitter was just starting off but Bebo looked more advanced than them, once it all died down, people emigrated back to Twitter, thank fuck.

I don’t think twitter understood the full effects of what they did, some of us just have followers for absolutely no reason at all, but a majority of us are building businesses through them, some people are Youtubers, bloggers all different kinds of content creators and tell people to follow them on all their socials, but oh no twitter completely obliterated them with no thought, there were people who even appealed for their accounts back and got completely the opposite, do you know how hard it is to get all these followers let alone get them back after you’ve been suspended, when it did happen I was like “minor they’ll be back” but they never came back with their normal account, the TL was dead for a good two weeks, the most boring two weeks of social media history.

There’s way more, If I’ve missed any key ones then let me know.

Listen when I say the TL has been a mess it’s been a real mess, but I’ve seen the TL in positive light as well, like The Grenfell tower inferno, yo I’m not saying the tower burning down is positive but it’s how the community on social media and of social media came together to push for things to change, if it wasn’t for the communities coming together we would’ve continued to be lied to, we would’ve never found out the truth, no one would be getting rehoused, if it wasn’t for us the government would’ve allowed it to crash and burn even more, there are so many things that would’ve went tits up if it wasn’t for the likes of social media spreading it so quickly then we would be living under a cloud of doubt, another example is looking at the Kenneka Jenkins story, smart people would’ve seen straight away by looking at evidence that the hotel staff and friends murdered her there was enough CCTV footage to come to this conclusion, but there’s always a dumb few that couldn’t quite get to the point, they’d always question something completely obvious and make their own stupid assumptions, the hashtag for this one girl was trending for weeks upon weeks, the hypothesis’s some people were thinking off were very realistic, the police shut down the case in minutes of hearing it, we as social media have kept this girls spirit alive and remembered.

Social media is very powerful and it can either make you or break you, if you have an upcoming project utilise all the tools that are now available to you, back in the days all these social sites did not exist at all.

Twitter ( Launched July 15th, 2006, 330 million users)
Periscope ( Launched 26th March 2015, 10 + million accounts)
Vine ( Launched January 2013, 40 million users)
Facebook ( Launched February 4th, 2004, 2 billion users)
Snapchat ( Launched September 2011, 20 million photos shared per day, 6 billion videos per day, 166 million active users)
Instagram ( Launched October 6th, 2010, 800 million users)
Wordpress ( Launched May 27th, 2003, 74 + million, 6 new WordPress posts per second)
Tumblr ( Launched February 19th, 2007, hosts over 375 million blogs, 555 million monthly visitors)
Crowd fire ( 21st February 2010, used by 10 + million Twitter and Instagram users)
Hoot suite ( Launched December 2008, 15 + million users)
YouTube ( Launched 14 February 2005, 1 billion active users monthly, YouTube has a production space in LA which is free to use if you have 10,000 + subscribers, if you search ‘do the Harlem shake on YouTube, the page itself will shake)

So what are you lot thinking after reading that, hmm let me guess ‘What’s with all these fucking numbers” “Too much information to remember” I agree it’s a lot of figures but they are facts and you should utilise them especially if your in the creatives section, inhale and exhale this information on what you want to do, download these apps especially crowd fire and hoot suite.

Crowdfire ( Millions of creators, for example, Youtubers, bloggers, artists, freelancers etc can grow their audience through this app, it’s all about marketing and knowing who your audience is and people to follow, but it also has the helpful tool of who the cheeky fuckers who ( follow, unfollow then have the cheek to follow back) (compose tweets and post later including media as well)

Hoot suite ( Social media management, with hoot suite you can manage all your socials through one application, no one likes to keep switching apps when it’s all built into one) I also use this app to write my tweets and then set times for them to be posted, one thing people normally think is that I sit on social media all day especially Twitter, 60% of my tweets are grafted hours or days before then I’ll set a time and date to post the other 40% is things like replies or tweets that are in the moment that have to be posted there and then.

I’m guessing you know what the rest of the social sites are, if not then please just look it up.

Overall I think 2017 has gone not too badly I’ve seen people on my TL grafting, collecting money, having months full of bookings and that’s what I like to see and hear for example singers, rappers, content creators, snap filter creators, Youtubers, photographers the grind really never stops and I’m looking forward to what everyone gets up to in 2018, I want to see everyone winning.

For me personally, 2017 has been a whirlwind of events, at the beginning of the year I went ghost not fully but I just wasn’t interested in a lot of people my social life was crazy from the beginning of 2016 – the beginning of 2017 my phone was buzzing every few seconds I was in so many group chats on WhatsApp, snapchat, twitter, so I just went silent after March, work and home was my life, I didn’t like going out too much or interacting, in the middle of 2017 I hit a low point like really low, but I managed to get through it alone, no one helped me people who I thought I was close to didn’t realise but in the end it was okay because I’ve been coping on my own for a long time.

I met a few girls on a group chat who are honestly like long lost sisters because we honestly don’t live any close distance together, we are all up and down the map, a few of us have met up and it honestly felt like I’ve known these people all my life, their people you can open up to, well for me anyways and whatever opinion they give it’s honest and that’s what I live for, no sugar coated bullshit just straight up honesty and just love.

But now it’s the end of the year looking back I’ve achieved a lot maybe one thing I didn’t complete but I know by God’s grace I’ll get there next year.

I’m thankful for who’s entered my life whether it’s through social media or just out and about, I’m grateful to myself for who I’ve dropped out, I don’t do toxic people in my life but I’m lucky to be blessed with a life.

I’ve got a few projects up my sleeve this year that I’ll be speaking into existence inside my house and not anywhere else because I know people like to see downfall well hahaha suckers I won’t be falling down anywhere except maybe on New Years night, but apart from that no I’ll continue to rise up and prosper.

Ooooo one more thing if you saw my previous pinned tweet on Twitter I asked for help to get to 4,000 views, well on the 21st December I asked Twitter and other sites but indeed mostly Twitter to help me get to 4,000 views before the end of the December on that day I was on 3,676 and now I’m on 4200 views which I’m forever grateful for, getting to 4000 views in less than 2 days makes my end of year goal for next year which is 10,000 views before the end of the year which is highly possible.

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 day book, write a good one”

Goodbye 2017.

Be good to us 2018.

Teeks

Black & Asian Mental Health

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I’ve decided I’ll write about mental health as it’s something I suffer with and so do so many other people, I feel mental health is brushed under the carpet just because it’s not physical, your health is your health and it’s so important. I was meant to start writing this blog just over a week ago but I’ve been in a dark place myself, and I kept on blowing it off and kept saying I’ll write it another day, well 2 weeks before release date here I am twiddling my thumbs on how I should come about this topic as it is very sensitive subject to talk on.

I’ve been in a dark place for weeks probably months even and I can’t even figure out the reason why, I’ve been to the doctors countless amount of times on my physical health and haven’t even got simple health, on my mental health I can’t bring myself to do it, the fact that I could get sectioned or giving medication to make me feel ‘better’ I really don’t have time for that, I have times where my mood flips uncontrollably and it’s so hard to control it, I have times where I can’t go to sleep past 6 am, I have days where I get sleep paralysis the first few times I was really freaking out, then it continued to happen regularly and I got used to it, there were times it would get so bad I would get dragged down my bed, no bullshit people would say go read the bible?? What’s that going to do? Sleep paralysis is not a fun situation to be in at all, the only thing in your body that will move is your eyes, it’s a real damn struggle to move everything else, I’ve been depressed but not overly depressed it didn’t last very long but now I’m anti I don’t really talk to people anymore, people pop up all the time and say ” you haven’t been active lately” or ” you’re not normally like this” this really does play on my mind I’ve deeped people I normally talk to I can’t find the energy to talk to them anymore or if they talk to me, I really can’t be fucked to reply anytime asks me “how are you” everyone will get the same reply “I’m calm” it rarely changes I really copy and paste the same answer to everyone, you’re probably thinking that’s cold, I agree it is, but when you have no energy to conversate that’s how it’ll be, a couple people called me reserved so I asked the person who knows me the best which is my mum, and she agreed but the thing is with me I let people know what I want them to know, if we’re having a conversation and the topic becomes a little too personal 9 times out of 10 I’ll cut the call and go sleep or go about my business,everything depends on my mood I don’t mean for my mood to flip I even get called crazy like what the fuck it’s not really my fault, I’ve tried to top myself by taking excessive amount of tablets it really didn’t work at all the pills must of liked my immune system because nothing happened. I’m one of them people that would rather help someone else through their problems I’ve heard people talk about how they’ll commit their own suicide on the phone to me, I’ve seen people try to top themselves ending up in accident and emergency all I think is I could’ve done more, but there’s only so much I can do, if you want to die then do it, there’s only so much help I can give. A few weeks ago I decided to give blood as I saw that only a small percentage of black people do, so I went along and like I said I ‘tried’ and failed I have the sickle cell anaemia trait and iron deficiency which makes me sleep for heavy periods at a time or my energy is low, sometimes I am in a good mood and my energy is out of this world but other times no I’m just Teeks, I sit in my room all day hardly leave I’ll decline times to go out and just sit there get restless, sleep, eat and then repeat all within my own space, my worst times were through my childhood just dealing with the divorce of my parents hurt and it’ll stick with me forever…but be moving on as time goes on so do I and what goes on will always have a reason.

Recently I’ve been on Twitter scrolling up and down the TL like a mad woman and started to come across tweets that are talking about mental health, I’ll scroll further and see the suicide help line number tweeted in both the United Kingdom and America, but the main communities I want to focus on are the black and Asian as I know these are the forgotten communities we have something wrong with us we get called crazy by the national health service or given medication that should somehow make us feel better or we just get abused by the police trust me it happens, or in some cases rituals are made. Mental health is an important issue in the black and Asian community and as a black young woman I’ve been more informed about this, over the recent weeks on Twitter I’ve seen more mental health tweets, my own followers tweeting about committing suicide, saying they have no one to talk to, no where to turn, mental health within these two communities are swept under the carpet as if they don’t exist, growing up I got told to be a ‘strong independent black woman’ but really I was crippling on the inside, social construct is so backwards we’re told to be this, do that or act like we are completely normal, what is normal? I fail to understand.

If you’ve read my blogs before you know that if I’m writing such strong topics I’ll have facts to support my evidence, with this one topic it took me time to find facts but once I got into it I came across a lot, I was actually flabbergasted at what I found.

I’ve found that in the black and Asian communities:
– More likely to be diagnosed with mental health problems
– More likely to experience a poor outcome and treatment
– More likely to disengage from mainstream services like social services leading to social exclusion and further deterioration in health
– Likely that mental health is overly diagnosed in people whose first language isn’t English

Have you ever thought about why mental health and mental illness impacts people in the black & Asian community more than any other?

Personally, I think it’s down to the factors that are plastered on us as a whole
– Poverty
– Racism
– Background
– Bad housing
– Unemployment
– Stress
– Abuse
– Neglect

All these factors play a huge role in the support which we should get equally but we don’t, we’re judged then ‘treated’ I hardly call it treatment I’ve seen a number of people descend on how they’re and it’s sad to see, what I seem to not understand is how can colour separate us, how can black people be diagnosed with severe mental disorders, we go to doctors for help, a psychiatrist for our problems to be listened to, God for guidance, our parents to see if they see it from our point of view, as a community you think we have a options but do we really?

An overwhelming amount of people with mental health are living in poor conditions, there are considerably high rates of physical and sexual victimisation, most people with mental disorders are restricted in their ability to access essential health, social care including emergency relief services. Poverty is the worlds most ruthless killer, poverty is a multidimensional phenomenon encompassing the inability to basic needs, lack of control over resources, lack of education and poor health. The measurement on which poverty is based on is income, if you earn less than a certain amount then you will be classified as poor. Poverty is associated with many long term problems, such as poor health and increased mortality, school failure, crime and substance misuse.

People with mental health are one and half times more likely to live in rented accommodation, social housing and in a poor area, they’re twice as unlikely with their housing and four times more likely to say that it makes their mental health worse. Children who have moved around quite a lot tend to have depression and anxiety compared to their peers. Many people have reported that housing costs have caused stress.

– 33% (15 million) say housing costs cause stress and depression
– 25% (12.2 million) are kept awake by stress of paying bills and mortgage
– 25% say housing bills cause arguments between partners and other family members
The number of homeless people diagnosed with mental health is spiralling out of control, it’s almost double the rate of the general population homeless link surveyed 2,500 homeless people and found out 45% of them had a mental health issue compared to the general population only 25% of them was found.

– 32% said they were experiencing suicidal thoughts
– 39%’said they have panic attacks
– 18% hear voices
– 67% feel depressed
– 41% misuse drugs or alcohol

Racism will forever be an ongoing issue I feel like the black community and the Asians are hit the most, not a day goes by where I see a non-black person say the word ‘nigga’ or a non Asian person say ‘paki’ ‘chinky’ etc.. But besides this discrimination against the black and Asian communities is reported across a wide range of everyday activities, a survey was carried out between February and March 2013 where 740 people from these minorities communities carried out a study. 6.9% (69) of people said they did not experience any discrimination which shows that 93.2% (671) of them felt some form of discrimination within finding a job, housing, education, getting into a relationship, why is it other people in other communities get every and anything handed to them on a plate, but because there’s a couple stereotype here and there about others we have to scream for our voices to be heard, rally together to hold protests that clearly get ignored, constantly being stopped on the road for a ‘routine check’ I’m not completely obnoxious but through my eyes this is things I hear or see every day. Imagine being black you receive the lowest treatment rates in England, half of what a white person would receive, being coloured ha such a hard life.

Recently I was scrolling on Twitter and a topic of conversation made the TL overly active everyone well I’m saying everyone I really only saw blacks/Asians started talking about the ‘beatings/licks they received as a child most people didn’t see it as an abuse but I don’t know what minds some of you lot have because by the way some of you lot described it I would’ve called child line, however everyone’s different for me growing up if I did naughty things around my dad he’d instantly say “yuh wan licks child sha” then I’d instantly pause whatever I was doing and go back to being good, with my mum the most I’ve done is kneel on my knees for quite some time, but the ones I saw on Twitter they were something else, I can tell how these implications can affect someone later on in life, beating your child is the first steps of abuse, now I know people will come back and say “My parents beat me because they wanted me to learn how to be respectful” blah blah blah you can be taught in various ways without beating someone with a belt, ginger in your anus, products being thrown at you etc…What I read I could tell these had an effect on the people’s lives and it’s daunting to see or read.  Domestic abuse can have a huge effect on your mental health, it is now well accepted  that abuse both in childhood and adulthood is often the main factor in the development of depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders and may lead to  sleep disturbances, self-harm, suicide and attempted suicide, eating disorders and substance misuse.

We have people drowning in their own thoughts within their households, can’t talk to mum, can’t talk to dad, so where do we go from here, my problem with some parents is they always think they’re right, some believe their child is completely fine, we can look perfect on the outside and be dying on the inside, some say go pray to God, praying does not help everyone, performing a ritual doesn’t cure everyone, doing witch craft doesn’t work for everyone, being a shoulder to cry on helps letting out emotion which is completely natural, supporting your child on what to do next is so important, I’ve seen teenagers, adults, children be here today and gone the next, and the parents always say ‘I blame myself’ stop blaming and start acting upon what is happening in front of your own eyes, under your own roof, I’m completely aware that some people can hide pain scarily well but asking a simple ‘Are you okay’ is fine but never settle for the answer of ‘I’m fine’ ask for them to expand until you’re both satisfied. A study of 2000 adults commissioned by the mental health foundation has found that the average adult will say “I’m fine” 14 times a week although only 19% will mean it so out of 100%, the other 81% won’t mean it, do you see where I’m coming from? That large percentage your family member, friend, could not be ‘fine’ what does fine even mean? What’s normal? 1/3 of the same study = 667 people said they often lie about how they’re feeling to other people, while 1/10 = 400 say they always lie about their emotional state. “I’m fine” is such an effortless answer, this answer is the answer to end all conversations, it has to be a conversation killer but if we don’t know what to reply how are we meant to say.

I personally believe that mental health should be completely equal to physical health, but for me saying that I would expect to see pigs fly first before they rule out this new plan. The media is such a dark place, they ignore us at any given moment or take the original story and twist it, these inequalities are virtually ignored by them, but to be honest, this is nothing new, it’s been the case for decades due to a lack of focus, but for why? Why does the colour of our skin rule out the level of exposure we receive, this is highly incompetent and extremely melancholic. The image it paints is one for misery, loneliness and desperate individuals needing help but each time we are let down for the colour of our skin, a colour that we can’t choose, even if I could change my colour I wouldn’t I’m proud of my race and what we’ve become and what we continue to achieve each day.

The NHS is an amazing amicable service to an extent, they’ll fix your broken arm but won’t fix a broken mind, they’ll give you gas and air but won’t give you air to breathe in real life, drowning in thoughts and no one around, is this what black and Asians should expect for the rest of our existence. People from African & Caribbean communities are more likely than others to be admitted to the hospital, worldwide it seems people who move from country to country have a higher risk of, mental health illness, this is predominantly true for black people who move to mainly white countries and an even higher risk for their children.

I’ve found quite a few statistic from the Asian and black communities on our mental health systems
– African/Caribbean are 3/5 times more likely to be diagnosed and admitted for schizophrenia
– Suicide is low among Asian men but high for Asian women
– African/Caribbean are more likely to enter the mental health services is the police or courts
– Indian men have a high rate of alcohol related problems
– African/Caribbean are more likely to be treated under a section of the mental health act
– Asian people have a quicker recovery rate from schizophrenia due to family support
– African/Caribbean more likely to receive medication rather than be offered a talking session known as psychotherapy.

We’re being failed as two separate communities due to ancestry, the colour of our skin, moving to predominantly ‘white’ countries the first I’ve heard Britain as a ‘white country’ I’m pretty sure we’ve been multi-cultured for 158 years since 1858 since Queen Victoria’s proclamation of India. We’ve been failed as people and institutional racism started this and no matter what people say racism will never end, there has been mounting evidence that institutional racism plays a major role, systematic analysis of what is wrong from sociological, historical and political perspectives really shows how embedded racism is in the practices and how it really does affect mental health services, while at the same time can show us way in which changes could be made. Black and Asian people are significantly over- diagnosed with stigmatising ‘conditions’ such as schizophrenia, depression and bipolar and are under referred for talking therapies but instead given large doses of drugs which cause long term physical problems which will continue to live with them for a long period of time and are over represented among sectioned patients, people served with a community treatments orders and those incarcerated in secure hospitals which are known as dangerous. There have been many attempts in recent years to make mental health become more culturally and sensitive ‘attempts’ these attempts I’ve never seen we all get treated like animals we get drugged up and sent into a room, we’re not listened to at all, whatever we say gets ignored, we’re seen as crazy. We want help, don’t label us. The attempts by our government to bring about racial equality have been very unsuccessful they haven’t even touched the edges in 30 years nothing has changed. One way to counteract them is for private and public services should minimise the use of sectioning get incarceration and the use of forced drug intake, instead of telling us these drugs will make us feel ‘better’ tell us the real effects, tell us that these drugs stop certain feelings from showing through, tell us how to deal with the side effects, tell us what we can do if we’re feeling suicidal etc, give us structural advice instead of giving us pills, focus needs to shift towards collaborating with service users, aiming to support where and when needed with recovery from personal setbacks and social problems.

There are so many mental health problems/illnesses and I think you should all be aware of all.
– bipolar disorder
– Schizophrenia
– Psychosis
– OCD
– Alcoholism
– Eating disorder
– Anxiety disorder
– Post traumatic stress disorder
– Personality disorder
– Fatigue
– Mood disorder
– Borderline personality
– Mixed anxiety
– Major depressive
– Seasonal affective
– Delusion
– Mental distress
– Sleep disorder
– Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
– Schizoaffective disorder
– Autism
– Emotional & Behavioural disorder
– Autistic spectrum disorder
– Dissociative identity disorder
– Confusion
– Spectrum disorder
– Postpartum psychosis
– Sickle cell disease

I’ve done this long list for you to be more aware of what is a mental health illness, there are things on here I never even thought of like delusion because all I hear is ‘your so deluded’ who would’ve thought delusion would even be apart of it.

The one thing I’d say to be aware of is lucid dreaming it can cause sleep paralysis if it’s not done correctly and having a sleep disorder is not fun at all it’s completely wack. Lucid dreaming is safe but if you don’t know how to do it I suggest you stay well away from doing it, performing a lucid dream you can experience hallucinations, you can fall between consciousness and unconsciousness within a few seconds. Lucid dreams can turn into lucid nightmares extremely quickly and a lot of things don’t scare me but sleep paralysis scares the shit out of me and lucid dreams are weird but lucid nightmares are the worst thing I’ve experienced, but within lucid nightmares it’s something you can control to an extent you can really remind yourself that it’s a dream, you can encounter demons in lucid dreams and sleep paralysis but whether you know how to control it is another thing.

Last year I watched a documentary called ‘Being black, going crazy’ This film is presented by Keith Dube known as (Mrexposed) on Twitter, he’s a young writer and blogger who wrote the blog ‘Mr exposed’ Keith used to suffer from depression and as a result he wanted to spread awareness about mental health within the community. Keith spoke to patients as well as staff at Park Royal mental health centre, they spoke deeply on how they were treated before, how their parents treated them, even how the police treated them. In my opinion, when this aired on BBC 3 it was one of the best documentaries I’ve watched, there were topics within topics discussed and it was alarming how some of these people were treated, I suggest if you haven’t watched it then it will be a good idea that you do.

– Black men are 17 times more likely to be diagnosed with a serious mental health condition and 6 times more likely to be an inpatient in a mental health unit than a white man
– 56% of black in patients have been sectioned more than any other ethnic group
– 67% of black people with mental health issues have been stigmatised and treated unfairly by their own families
All I’ve been writing is black blackity black for god knows how long, and every time I write black in whichever sentence theirs always unfairness that comes along with it.

Moving on a few weeks back when I was on the idea of writing this blog I wanted to write about people that have suffered from mental health and died in the hands of police custody, that wasn’t hard to find at all, I came across someone named Sean Riggs, the name sounded very familiar and as I looked him up I remembered this is the man who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, unfortunately he died following a cardiac arrest on 21st August 2008 while in the hands of police custody no surprise there. Sean Rigg was a 40-year-old black British musician and producer, the events leading to the death Mr Riggs lived in a hostel that dealt with uncooperative and aggressive behaviour, on the 21st August five 999 calls were made during a 3 hour period by the hotel staff, the police didn’t find Mr Riggs a priority which is extremely odd because being black we’re always a priority for the police no matter what situation, on the fifth call the police finally turned up and restrained him in a ghastly manner, he was handcuffed, face on the floor and officers knelt on him for 8 minutes while he was being transported to Brixton police station, during the journey his mental health deteriorated massively, he was extremely unwell and not fully conscious, when they arrived Rigg was left unattended and unmonitored for 25 minutes one of the officers said he was faking it, a further 10 minutes later his heart had stopped and all signs of life was not there one of the sergeants mislead the doctor by telling them he was faking unconsciousness, which is totally untrue he was dead at the age of 40 because police do not understand how to understand people with a mental issue. If we fast forward a few years the series Orange is the new black has an exact scene like this where Poussey dies as an officer holds her to the ground leans heavily on her back, and she begins to say “I can’t breathe” the exact same words Eric Garner says when cops choke hold him and slam him to the ground if you’ve seen the video you will hear him saying “I can’t breathe’ 1 fictional character dies and 2 non-fictional people die, and of course each one of these had a protest of unfair ruling, even though one was a scene it still shows it goes on and only to one race, I haven’t seen it anywhere else.

Really I think police officers think they’re superior actually correction they do think they’re superior, sad really a uniform gives these people such confidence, the job they’re meant to do they can’t do it without drawing out a baton or gun, what happened to talking and engaging, what happened to simple handcuff on and in the back of the police car, but instead now I’ve seen guns drawn out, people with a condition being tackled to the ground like it’s a game of rugby, their knees should be on the ground not on the offenders stomach/back, I’ve seen so many people die in the hands of police custody not necessarily with a mental health issue but people like Edson Da Costa, Rashan Charles did not in anyway or form deserve that treatment I’m highly disgusted reading the newspapers everyday scrolling through Twitter to find out another black teenager here in the UK or anywhere else has died in the hands of police custody, I actually want to know what the fuck do these police officers do in training, because somewhere along the lines they always end up killing someone. There should be a complete end to physical restraint and training should consist of dealing with people and their mental health problems, beating them up will only lead them to further deteriorating we want people’s health to improve not to further worsen we’re not crazy, we are human and deserve humane treatment. Black, white, brown, purple and blue all just colours. If we turn people inside out we all have the same features a heart, eyes, arms, legs etc we’re no different stop treating us as separate, stop causing a divide and help us.

Helpline UK: 116 123

Helpline USA: 1-800-273-8255

 

Hypothesis:

First, off my apologies for taking so long to write this, this is the first ever topic I’ve been stuck on, but thank you to everyone that helped give me further ideas on what to write on.

Mental health is so hard to write on and if you find anything offensive or incorrect then let me know but I’ve looked for information everywhere, I’ve read books, watched documentaries just to get a further insight into the world of black and Asian mental health, within the Asian mental health I couldn’t even find a lot, but there was so much on the black communities and I’m glad I’ve written this because I’ve found out things I never knew, I would like to say anyone suffering from mental health please speak on it for yourself and for others, raise the awareness we deserve, fight for what you believe in, if you know that someone is suffering help them by listening never ever settle for the answer of “I’m fine” because 9/10 they’re not, dig deeper into the situation don’t grill them on it but ask more open than closed questions, look for signs I’ve seen people in front of me suffer and I never knew till I started asking and they started doing funny things, and you can kinda tell, I’ve had people call me saying they’re going to kill themselves, counting down the days, hours till they top themselves, sometimes I feel like I’m the shoulder to cry on in certain groups of friends but thinking about it I don’t mind, even though I issue out the same advice I’m not that person and only that person can change themselves. If you think there’s something wrong within yourself then go and get help and always get a second opinion, I’d even suggest going private, if your parents are in your life start talking to them, because they certainly are not here forever, parents start talking to your kids in some cases your children are under the same roof as you crumbling with no one to talk to, friends, family there is always someone to talk to including me, my social accounts are all out there, if you feel alone want someone to talk to then honestly I’m here!

Please, can we all remember that yesterday marked the two month anniversary of the Grenfell Tower Inferno, 2 months later still fuck all done, 2 months on and a lot of them have come out with mental health issues, 2 months later and hardly any questions have been answered.

Also, would like to say a huge thank you to everyone that continues to read my blogs, I’m so thankful for how far I’ve come, you lot might count it as showing off, well couldn’t care less. I’ve met my target which was 2k and now on 2.2k if you have me on Twitter remember what I said when I get to 10k I’ll throw a party which I will.

“Each day means a new 24 hours, each day means everything’s possible again.

Not entirely sure if this blog makes sense, but hey I tried, I’ll be writing two more blogs before the year ends, so if you have a topic let me know.

Teeks X